Teletubbies: Ultimate Censorers
by Writer's Blah
Summary: The Teletubbies have been called to save the television network, acompanied by Spongebob, the cast of Barney, and a couple of random guys here and there. But are the profanity filled shows the real villain, or are there more behind this? MY FIRST FIC
1. Regular Teletubbies Opening

**Teletubbies: Ultimate Censorers **

Original Story by Writer's Blah

© 2007 Writer's Blah

**WRITER'S NOTE:** I do not own Teletubbies or any of the mentioned characters, neither would I want to. Since this is FanFiction and this will probably not become real, I see no reason not to do this. Besides, I just want to mess with a little kid's show. Knowing people around here, no one would want to sue me anyways. (Seriously, I do not want to own that show.)

* * *

Chapter 1: Regular Teletubbies Opening 

Note: If you already know the theme song, or just cannot bear to read, let alone hear the song again, skip this chapter.

Over the hills and far away, Teletubbies come to play!

1!

2!

3!

4!

Teletubbies!

Time for Teletubbies! Time for Teletubbies! Time for Teletubbies! Time for Teletubbies!

Tinky Winky!

Dipsy!

Lala!

Po!

Teletubbies!

Teletubbies!

Say hello!

Eh oh!

Tinky Winky!

Dipsy!

Lala!

Po!

Teletubbies!

Teletubbies!

Big hug! (sad, is it not?)

Uh oh!

Where have the Teletubbies gone?


	2. The Big Boom

Teletubbies: Ultimate Censorers

Chapter 2: The Big Boom

One day in Teletubbie Land, Po was riding his scooter around the central area. Po was a carefree Teletubbie, which was not odd for his species, but perhaps the most carefree in his group.

But not today.

Several minutes after Po was riding around, a bright flash (like one that appears when something is hit extremely far during an anime show) appeared on the horizon. Although not very common, it still was regular after a week or two to see a bright flash. Usually, it was some sort of object like a flying tiny carousel with a dancing bear. Like always, all the Teletubbies joined together to observe the strange item. This was no exception. A short jog to the impact site was all they needed to reach the item. A minute passed, and all the Teletubbies had found the object. Now here is when things start to get strange.

The object was not an entertainment device like it always had been. It looked a bit like modern-day bombs. "What dat?" asked Lala, the only female in the group.

"Uh oh. I not know." said Po.

Dipsy, the slightly normal one was very curious and decided to touch it.

Nothing happened.

He touched it again.

Nothing, again, happened.

Yet again he touched it.

At last, it took effect. It began to flash intermittently.

"Ooh!" Tinky Winky said to himself.

Gradually, the flashing became faster and faster! "What happening?" asked Dipsy.

Within fifteen seconds, you could barely see the light off. Then, all of a sudden, the bomb exploded, catching all the Teletubbies in the explosion! They were all shocked by electricity, but strangely, it did not hurt them, even though it knocked them all out.


	3. A Breakthrough

Teletubbies: Ultimate Censorers

Chapter 3: A Breakthrough

After about twenty minutes, the Teletubbies woke up in a high-tech area.

"Oh, my head."

"Yeah, what was that?"

"Darned explosion must have totaled our heads."

"Yeah, I…wait a minute…did you just talk…did I just talk?" said an amazed Tinky Winky.

It was true. They were, the Teletubbies were…talking.

"Well we could always talk. It's just that now, we can talk like the teens we really are," said Dipsy.

"Whatever. We are talking, but we don't know how the heck we started talking like a dude," said Tinky Winky.

"I think I can help you with that question," said a familiar voice.

A man walked out of one of the many chrome doorways. "I am Phil."

"I know you…but I also don't. Wait…it's coming to me…you…you are the guy who's voice came out of those constantly popping out voice pipes!" said Dipsy.

"One of the two actually. I, of course was the male voice. The female voice was my fiancé, Sheila. But we do not have time. First, I must tell you your true names."

"True names? You mean to say the names we have aren't real?" asked Lala, or whatever she is really called.

"Thank goodness. The name 'Tinky Winky' sucks," said Tinky Winky, or whatever his real name is.

"Tinky Winky, come forward," motioned Phil.

"Gladly, Wizard of Oz," said Tinky Winky.

"Tinky Winky, your true name is…Tinkonius Winkolemue!"

"Great," said Tinkonius Winkolemue sarcastically.

"Dipsy, come forward," Phil motioned again.

"Okay…" said Dipsy.

"Dipsy, your true name is…Dipsangule!"

"Ooh! It rhymes with the name of my favorite star, Criss Angel!"

"Now then, Lala, you come forward!" motioned Phil yet again.

Unlike Tinky and Dipsy, Lala said nothing.

"Lala, your true name is…Larentila!"

"That sounds like one of the bones in the human body," said Lala strangely.

"I know. All of your names are weird. Anyway, Po, step forward!" said Phil.

"Last one. Is it because of our theme song?" asked Po.

"Umm…no? Well, your true name is…Potelier!"

"Like you said, they are all strange," said Po.

"Alright. Now that all your true names are revealed it's time to tell you of an approaching threat," said Phil.

"We've never had a threat before," said Dipsy.

"Shows how much you know," said Tinky.

"If you two are done, he's been sent to destroy all of you for the crime of being a baby show," said Phil.

"That shouldn't be a problem anymore," said Po.

"He is known worldwide by all kids five and up. He has not been known initially for being dangerous, but this time, he has made an exception. He is known worldwide, and is only called by one name…Spongebob Squarepants.


	4. The New Theme Song

Teletubbies: Ultimate Censorers

Chapter 4: The New Theme Song

"Well now that we are cool, we should change our name," said Dipsy.

"How about TeleCHUBBIES?" suggested Lala.

"Hmm, well then people will probably think we are fat, and then they will try to eat us, or vice versa; people will think we are fat because we eat people, and we don't want people to be scared of us either," said Dipsy.

"Why not?" asked Tinky.

"Shut up, Tinky Winky."

"Well how about TeleDUDES?" suggested Tinky Winky.

"You're joking, right? It doesn't even have a ring to it!" said Dipsy.

"I've got it! TeleBUBBIES!" shouted Po.

"Perfect!" said Dipsy!

* * *

Over the hills and over there, Telebubbies come with flare! 

One!

Dos!

Trois!

Umm…four in some other foreign language!

Lala spray paints on the screen, "Telebubbies" gangster-style.

Telebubbies!

The Teletubbies theme starts, except as a rock remix.

Time for Telebubbies! Time for Telebubbies! Time for Telebubbies! Time for Telebubbies! Can't you hear me you idiots?

Tinkonius Winkolemue!

Dipsangule!

Larentila!

Potelier!

Telebubbies!

Telebubbies!

Say hello!

What's up!

Tinkonius Winkolemue!

Dipsangule!

Larentila!

Potelier!

Telebubbies!

Telebubbies!

Hand shake!

The Telebubbies spit into their hands, and then shakes everyone else's at the same time! Suddenly, they notice the speed of the stand-alone windmill.

Bummer!

Where have the Telebubbies gone to wreak more havoc?


	5. Friend, Not Foe

Teletubbies: Ultimate Censorers

Chapter 5: Friend, not Foe

"Today's the day," said Phil.

"In just one minute Spongebob will arrive to exterminate all of us,"

"Wow. I had no idea sea sponges could be so violent," said Po.

"Of course they are. Didn't you ever listen to Master Pakku? He once said, 'Great. A few more years of practice and you will be ready to fight a sea sponge.' Who do you think he was referring to?"

"Spongebob?" asked Dipsy.

"Duh."

It was exactly 7:00 P.M. when a great, golden, semi-transparent bridge appeared on top of the Teletubbie house. From the light came none other than Spongebob Squarepants. He had a determined look on his face. "Finally! After all these years of major stupidity on this channel, today I will be the one to destroy one of the worst ones: the Teletubbies!" shouted Spongebob.

Spongebob then did an evil version of his trademark laugh, like in the scene where Spongebob cut the strings of the beach-goers kites with his tooth during the episode 'Walking Small'. Spongebob then eagerly ran down the bridge to make four people meet certain doom. Tinky Winky was the first to meet him. "Alright, strange incarnation of a purple Pikmin, time to die!"

"It's Tinkonius Winkolemue now, and don't you dare try to kill any of us, or else prepare for the most unpleasant antennae bolt of your spongy life!" challenged Tinky.

"Yeah? Well I…hold on a sec, rewind and repeat! Did you just threaten me, and use a sentence that sounded like it didn't come out of a caveman's mouth? And the most stupid Teletubbie at that?"

"Hey, that caveman from the Geico commercial is a really nice guy. I should know, because I've met him. Anyway, first of all, yes; I am now threatening you. Second of all, we shall now be only addressed as Telebubbies, and third of all, I AM NOT STUPID!!!" screamed Tinky.

"Wow. I was sent to destroy you and your friends, but now I feel like actually joining you guys, now that you're cool and all," said a surprised Spongebob.

So Spongebob and the Telebubbies eventually settled on a truce. "So you are the legendary Spongebob. I had no idea that when I'd be talking to you, I'd be talking to a team member," said Phil, once Spongebob stepped into the hidden area.

"By the way, Spongebob, how are you here without a water helmet?" asked a curious Lala.

"Well, it's actually kind of crazy. Evidently, traveling to another channel, especially one that can be reached without cable, locks all natural needs for the traveler. Since our channels are pretty far apart, it gets rid of my need to be in water. Still, it's extremely complicated, and there is no easy way to explain it," explained Spongebob, even though it was not a very good explanation.

For about an hour, the Telebubbies and Spongebob conversed about their personal shows, how the Teletubbies became the Telebubbies, and even Spongebob's new relationship with Sandy. (See fan fiction "The Date" under the Spongebob section. Even though I did not write it and it has not actually happened (yet) on the show, I like treating it as official.)

Just when Spongebob was about to tell the Telebubbies how he got to PBS Kids, Phil came crashing into the room, holding a bunch of papers that looked like receipts!

"Telebubbies! Spongebob! I have breaking news!"


	6. The Golden Tubbie Trading Up

Teletubbies: Ultimate Censorers

Chapter 6: The Golden Tubbie/Trading Up

Phil, exhausted from carrying the (very heavy) pile of papers, set them down on the floor. "So what's the big news, Phil?" asked Dipsy.

"Well, my client, Digit, has received important info from the Great Golden Tubbie!"

"Who?"

"The Golden Tubbie. You know that sun baby that strangely replaces a real sun? Well, his real name is the Golden Tubbie. Before you ask, yes, he is also a Teletubbie, well, Telebubbie, but he is the king of the species. Anyway, his news is that obscenities and violence are filling the television network to the brim. He has called on you, one of the very few that have not been owned by the said evils, to destroy those shows that are too filled to get any better. The only way to start the journey to a show is by contacting the superior being of the particular show, which may not always be a good thing, so he will give you the power to automatically travel no matter where you are. Now, this is a problem because…"

Phil was not able to finish as he was interrupted by Tinky Winky's snickering. "I'm so sorry. It's just that I remembered how weird Po's real name is. I mean, come on! Potelier? It's super weird!"

"Look who's talking! I'm talking to the guy who walks along with a red purse I regret you call a bag! Also weird is your "special song" which doesn't even make any sense! Also, your name is weird too! I mean, where do you think they get the word tinkle from? Compare it. Tinky. Tinkle. Worst of all, I'm talking to the guy who wore a pink ballerina outfit!" said a very angry Po.

"Well, I…hmm…you know, you're right! In fact, all of our stuff is lame! Let's trade up…starting with me! I trade up my _purse_ for a three-dimensional hyper cube!"

"What about your "special song"?" asked Lala.

"Does that answer your question?" asked Po.

Tinky Winky started singing MC Hammer's _You Can't Touch This_ into his hyper cube.

"Alright. My turn. I trade up my very uncomfortable cow-fur hat for a very comfortable white lab coat. I want to create experiments with my newly attained extra knowledge." said Dipsy.

"Really? Who is gonna be your dim-witted assistant? Heh, heh." chuckled Tinky.

"Let's see…you?"

"Me?" Tinky Winky paused. "Ha ha ha! That's a good joke. Ha! Seriously who is it?"

Dipsy kept a straight face while Tinky Winky laughed hysterically. Suddenly, Tinky Winky realized what he meant. "Hold on…you weren't kidding?" asked a worried Tinky.

Dipsy shook his head.

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Well now it's my turn. You know that ball I have? It's actually as fake as Al Gore! The New York Mafia is still suing me for the ball. So, I've decided that after I give it to the mafia, I'll trade it for a boomerang. Not only is it just as fun, but I could also use it to attack people!" explained Lala.

"Well now it's Po's turn. I wonder what he'll trade his scooter for," wondered Dipsy.

Po had a sneaky smile pasted on his face.

Fifteen minutes later, Po returned…with a red corvette!

"HOW IN THE FREAKIN' HECK DID YOU GET THAT?!? THEY DON'T EVEN SELL CARS IN TELETUBBIE LAND!!!!" shouted a stunned and very envious Tinky Winky.

"I know a guy," was all Po said afterwards.

Suddenly, Phil coughed to get all the Telebubbies and the surprisingly quiet Spongebob back to his attention. "Now if all of you are done, I can finish my story. So getting the ability to warp to another show or channel can only be done by contacting the Golden Tubbie. Now I can send you the program to talk to the Golden Tubbie, but to do that, you will have to begin your Stomach TV video transfer. I can send all of you a program instead of a video, but you must first open yourselves to transmission. And the only known way to do that is to get outside in front of the windmill, so…go outside now!"

The Telebubbies went outside to begin transmission. As they always started, they began by using the 'big hug' routine to connect with each other. They then lied down on the grass to test transmissions. Like always, the blue/purple snow transfer confirmed that links were open. They then climbed the hill to actually begin transmission. They were all sent another blue/purple snow video to signify they were ready for transmission. After Po was sent the finished video, they began the transmission by shouting out their names into the heavens.

"Tinky Winky!"

"Dipsy!"

"Lala!"

"Po!"

The transfer was successful and the Golden Tubbie communications program was launched by all the Telebubbies. "Oh, Great Golden Tubbie, please grant us the ability to warp between shows and channels automatically!" all the Telebubbies shouted.

The Golden Tubbie gave out a piercing chuckle, which meant that he approved the request. After the ability was given to all the Telebubbies including Spongebob, a warp hole opened up, leading to the "Select Show" area, the central nervous system for television! At once, Tinkonius Winkolemue, Dipsangule, Larentila, Potelier, and Spongebob jumped into the warp hole and then truly began their journey.


	7. Newer Allies

Teletubbies: Ultimate Censorers

Chapter 7: Newer Allies

The "Select Show" area was organized by a very complicated code. "Goodness, I have never seen so many numbers in my life!" yelled Dipsy.

"Yeah, you would think that," said a distracted Spongebob.

"Well, this block looks promising," said Po, as they headed towards a cube that read, "17.123456.10:30".

"NO! That show isn't…" started Spongebob, but he had no time to finish as Dipsy and company dived into the cube.

They all appeared in what appeared to be a schoolyard. "Where exactly are we?" asked Tinky.

"It looks a bit like New York," answered Po.

"Great! Now I can give my ball to the mafia!" shouted Lala.

"Lala, give it up! If I'm not mistaken, and I rarely am when it comes to television, we're nowhere near the mafia! No, we are at…" stated Spongebob, but someone else finished for him.

"…school!" shouted a very happy voice behind them.

Slowly and cautiously, the Telebubbies and Spongebob turned around…to see the one known as Barney! "AAH!!! THE HORROR!" shouted Spongebob.

"B.J.! Baby Bop! We have visitors!" shouted an overly excited Barney.

"Ooh! What are they?" asked B.J.

"Why they are the Teletubbies! And over there, that's…OH NO! SPONGEBOB! STAY AWAY! PREPARE TO FIRE AT WILL!" screamed Barney.

"Hey, hey, whoa, whoa, hey! I'm with them!" countered Spongebob.

Barney looked at the Telebubbies, and they nodded their heads in agreement. "Except we are no longer called Teletubbies. We are now called Telebubbies," said Lala.

"Who is making you guys say that? Is that part Spongebob's evil plan?" shouted Barney.

"Barney, SNAP OUT OF IT! Spongebob IS a friend, seriously," Dipsy protected.

"Okay, but if he makes one false move, he is going to regret he ever came here!" said a very defensive Barney.

"And how do you propose to do that?" asked Spongebob.

"By following you guys everywhere!" said Barney.

"You're joking."

"Not at all. And B.J. and Baby Bop will be coming along too!" shouted Barney, although a bit tired from all the yelling, especially when only he was yelling.

"But Barney, who will watch over the kids?" asked a slightly annoying Baby Bop.

"Let's see. Who do we know that has nothing to do all day?"

TEN MINUTES LATER.

"Okay, my friends, let's get started!" said…PATRICK!

"You got Patrick to look over the kids?!? Have you gone mad? He'll drive them off a cliff!" screamed a ticked-off Dipsy.

"Of course not. Like I said, he has nothing to do all day, and there aren't any cliffs in New York…right?" asked Spongebob.

"Well whatever! We have to get out of here and fix a real show!" said Tinky Winky.

"Hey!"

"But how? We have no idea how this Select Show area is organized," said Lala.

"That's what I was trying to tell you earlier! The Select Show area is organized by a code that very few people understand at first. The decimal points represent another part of the code. The first number represents which channel plays the show. The second number represents which days of the week make the show air. One equals Sunday, two equals Monday, three equals Tuesday, and so on. The last number represents the time the show airs. If it airs at different times, majority wins," explained Spongebob.

"Why didn't you tell us this earlier?" asked Tinky Winky, not aware that he had tried earlier.

"BECAUSE…never mind."

After Spongebob got over his anger at Tinky Winky, they formed a warp hole that made everyone except Patrick and the kids go into the Select Show area. However, Spongebob started to twitch a bit. "Hey Spongebob, are you alright?" asked a slightly worried Po.

"Umm, I think so," replied Spongebob nervously.

"Well, let's start you guys off with something easy," stated Spongebob.

"But we don't have any weapons," Po remembered.

"Oh we don't, do we?" smirked Spongebob.

Spongebob then held out a box of items that looked a bit like cherry bombs. "These are sensibility grenades. They will be the most efficient item to the person we will be fighting. There aren't many but they will do," explained Spongebob.

After several minutes, Spongebob pinpointed them to their destination. It was a cube that read, "C.50.0.9:30-5:30". "The C means that it can only be reached by cable, and the 0 means that the days it airs are random," explained Spongebob.

If you didn't already figure it out, the Telebubbies, Spongebob, Barney, B.J., and Baby Bop would be facing…_Roseanne_.


	8. Battles of the Mouth

Teletubbies: Ultimate Censorers

Chapter 8: Battles of the Mouth

The posse arrived in an average living room…that looked like World War III had broken out there. Here lived a duo of bratty teenagers, led by the example of their potty-mouth mother. The only normal one was the father, whose name is Dan. Spongebob knew this show pretty well, as he was the most popular show for the afternoon lineup which aired on the same channel. Dipsy, well aware of this, remembered that Spongebob had said about being far from the channel, but now that he was in his home channel, this could put his life in danger! "Hey Spongebob, you remember what you said about channel necessities?"

"Hoppin' clams! You're right! My need for water is back on the line! Luckily, my relation with this show is unknown, but that still means that I only have fifteen minutes until I turn into a dried-up sea sponge!"

"Which means…"

"I'll die."

"That's why you were twitching over there!" realized Tinky.

"Very good. If I make it through this, remind me to send you a little something something."

After a minute or so, D.J. entered the room with two bags of groceries. "No, I'm telling you, Jackie! Your dog couldn't race if it bit him in the (beep)!"

The teen quickly saw the children show characters in the room. The teen then immediately dropped his bags and ran to the car. "Darlene! Some freakin' people have dropped their sorry behinds into our residence!" he said.

The sister then walked into the house, also stunned. "Holy (beep)."

Barney then realized an opportunity. "It seems our appearance has stunned the two. This would be a 'super-dee-dooper' time to hit them with our grenades while we still can!"

"Great!" exclaimed Spongebob.

"Oh, yeah, and do us all a favor and never say that…that…catch phrase again."

"How 'bout I just don't say it around you guys, because the preschoolers seem to love it."

"Good enough for me."

Dipsy was in a rush to get to the firing. "Will you two dumbbells stop arguing? I came here for pelting, and by gum I'm going to pelt!" shouted Dipsy.

Everyone quickly agreed and started throwing the sensibility grenades at the teens! The grenades quickly and easily hit the teens, with unusual explosions being blown when meeting something. After about one or two minutes of firing, the teens finally regained consciousness, and realized what was happening! "Okay, if they are gonna fight us with kindness, we will fight them with cursing!" said Darlene.

They then started shouting curses, which I shall not list. If you wanted to know what they were, blame it on my good nature. This slightly weakened the group, but the teens were clearly outmatched, giving the kids show characters the advantage. "NO! I feel…kind."

It looked like total loss for the teens, until their role-model, Roseanne herself, showed up! Immediately, she saw her two children crouching, unable to amount the sudden kindness. "Children! What happened?"

"Those mean old, nice people made us be nice!"

"Mean old nice people?!? Boy, you two are bad!"

"Bad things hurt them!"

The children show character posse prepared for battle. Roseanne then shouted even worse curses! Baby Bop then threw a barrage of sensibility grenades at Roseanne, barely affecting her!

"Ha! Those silly pop rocks won't break my awesome badness!" she taunted.

Spongebob was, obviously, very angry. "POP ROCKS?!? That does it!" he yelled.

He then took out an atomic bomb that read, "Sensibility Battle Finisher". He threw it at Roseanne, and it exploded!! The sound of glass breaking was heard, Roseanne and her kids disappeared without a trace, and Spongebob was severely hurt! He immediately started to dry up! "QUICK! Get him some water!" shouted Lala.

"There's no time for that? This cube is going to explode in one minute, and if we are not out by then, then…" Spongebob said in his old-manish style voice.

"Well we can't just bail out on you either!" said Po.

They then quickly filled a bowl with water, and put it on Spongebob. Quickly, they all warped to the "Select Show" area in the nick of time. They all flew away just as the cube exploded, sending a small shockwave that didn't affect any other cubes. "The only other time that happens is when a show is discontinued," explained Spongebob.

"Well, we should probably head to another show that needs fixing," said Dipsy.

After about half an hour of flying, they found their next destination: a cube that read "33.1.8:30-9:30". This code represents the show, _Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fast Forward_. Now, the show itself was not bad, but the villains were overly violent and sinful! This being the case, the Telebubbies, Spongebob, Barney, B.J., and Baby Bop would defeat Darius!


	9. Ends in the Future and Past

Teletubbies: Ultimate Censorers

Chapter 9: Ends in the Future and Past

Usually, when entering a show cube, you would only travel through space, but strangely enough, they also traveled through time in this entry. In seconds, a futuristic city opened up into the eyes of the travelers. "So where should we land?" asked Po, exhausted from the flying.

"Well, I believe that some huge skyscraper should be our drop-off," thought Spongebob.

As if on cue, a silver skyscraper with a bluish hue appeared into view. They dived down in the air, nearly colliding once or twice with a flying car. When they were at a enterable area, they flew towards the entrance, but all of a sudden, three flying police motorcycles showed up being ridden by robot cops. "Say, none of the cars in that eight-member car-pool have a back license plate! Let's get 'em!"

Startled by the cops, the posse became unaware of their surroundings and crashed right into the tower!! Inside the skyscraper, the turtles, Cody, and Splinter were all talking, eating, and in other words, having fun. As always, Raphael and Michelangelo were arguing. "If I've asked you once, I've asked you a hundred times, Mikey! What's the point of buying a doll if you don't even take it out of the box?!?" argued Raph.

Raph and Mikey were having one of their infamous toy arguments. Mikey was a die-hard collector, while Raph didn't know the difference between a doll and an action figure. "I keep telling you! I like to keep them in mint condition, that way if I ever sell it, I can sell it for full price. And another thing, THESE ARE NOT DOLLS! THEY ARE ACTION FIGURES!!!!!" Mikey exploded.

The window then fell apart, glass breaking in every direction. "I wondered when you would finally lose it," said Raph.

"There's no way that could have been me!"

While Cody took cover, the turtles and Splinter prepared for battle. To their surprise, instead of a big, ugly monster coming in with an otherworldly roar, eight TV show characters appeared with exhaustion from being chased by the cop-bots. "A little help here?" yelled Dipsy.

"Cop-bots! Stop chasing those dudes…and dudettes. Some real ugly dudettes," Mikey shot back.

"Bah! What would you people know?" shot the lead cop-bot name Constable Biggles.

The turtles snapped into action, and jumped to the cycles. Taking full advantage of the jump, Raphael spun his nun chucks at the cop-bot, slamming the robot off the cycle and onto the ground, _very _far down.

After that performance, everyone landed back on their half-destroyed apartment. "Hey are you guys okay?"

Everyone shook their heads in agreement. "Thank goodness. Don't worry about the apartment, our robot, Sterling can clean it up," Leonardo reassured.

"I AM NOT CLEANING THIS UP!!!" he shot back from behind the kitchen wall.

Everyone settled in the living room. "So who are you guys? Some more aliens?" asked Donatello.

Dipsy was about to explain until Michelangelo said, "Those are some of the cartoons of the olden days! I have seen them on my "Cancelled Old Shows" collection! Here we have got Barney, B.J., Baby Bop, the Telebubbies, and my personal favorite, Spongebob."

This remark shocked the posse. "Oh, sure. _Everyone_ loves Spongebob," complained Tinky Winky.

"Umm, Tinky, I think you've missed the point. He just said 'Cancelled Old Shows'. We are going to be…cancelled?" Spongebob said with difficulty because he was hyperventilating.

"Well…yeah. All of you guys were cancelled around the 2060's except Barney, who was cancelled twenty years before," explained Mikey.

"By the way, how did you guys know that we were now the Telebubbies?" asked Lala.

"When you changed, the name stuck," said Mikey.

"So how did you guys get here?"

"Ancient mystic powers. The usual."

"So…WHY did you guys come here?"

"We have been sent on a mission to get rid of obscenities and violence on the television network."

"HA! You guys? HA HA HA HA HA!"

"Hey, we just put Roseanne out of business."

"Oh…so _that's _how the show ended without warning. Well we could use a couple more members in the team," considered Leonardo.

"AWESOME! MORE NINJA ACTION!" shouted Raphael.

"Well we're just in time. Every single villain we have faced so far have stolen an illegal weapon from Area 54 and plan to use them to destroy the Earth!" alarmed Cody.

"See? That's the kind of stuff we're here for!" said Dipsy.

"Area 54?" questioned B.J.

"Yeah, after Area 51 was squashed, the aliens escaped from Area 52 in 2014, and then they trashed Area 53 twenty years later, so they decided to let the aliens go, but they kept all their stuff in Area 54," explained Mikey.

"ALL their stuff? You mean…" said Tinky Winky.

"NO! Not their clothes, sicko!" yelled Raph.

"Although they did run a security scan…"

"EWW! Gross! I REALLY did not have to hear that!" said an obviously grossed out Po.

"Well regardless, we gotta stop those guys!" said Dipsy.

"Not so fast, Dipsy! I want to know why our shows were cancelled!" said Spongebob.

"Well, we can go back in time, but we can't actually get into your shows to see what happened!" said Donny.

"You forget, I have the ability to travel between shows and access them too! And I can bring anyone along!" said Spongebob.

"Well, fine. I'll go with Spongebob to see what happened to your shows. As for the rest of you, get to stopping those villains!" directed Donny.

After agreeing, Cody got into the Turtle X, Spongebob and Donny got in the time machine, and everyone else traveled in the Hover Shell to travel to the Table of Chaos, a strange table-like platform several miles in space. It was pretty simple to evade security and the meteors, since Donny had implanted a stealth mode several days before, but actually finding it was a challenge. After nearly three hours of searching, they found the Table of Chaos with the Area 54 weapon, better known as the Finisher, in the center. On the platform, every single villain the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles had faced surrounded the weapon. From the Dark turtles to Zixx to Darius himself was there to witness the event. The landing on the platform was kind of rough, thanks to Mikey's video game-style driving. The villains obviously noticed the vibrations, and prepared for battle. The Hover Shell's door opened, and the turtles, Splinter and the TV show posse jumped out to the platform, ready for combat. "Who the heck are those people?" asked a confused Zixx.

"We're relatively new, not to mention able-bodied enough to give all of you guys a good whuppin'," said Po.

Surprisingly, the battle was quite intense. Leo and Raph paired off and beat the living heck out of Zixx. Raph could not stand another moment with Mikey, so he was excluded. In that case, Mikey teamed up with B.J. and together, they literally squashed Triple Threat. "Ah, nuts," One-Eye said.

"I like nuts. My brother also likes to crush them," the strange one said.

"He likes to crush anything that he wants, and that means everything," Mikey answered.

Elsewhere on the table, Baby Bop and Lala were going after the Dark Turtles. However, they did not have to land a punch. Why? "AHH! That duo! They're…they're…too cute! Not to mention annoying! It's too much!" the Dark Turtles shouted.

They then attempted to jump off the side of the platform, only too land back on Earth unharmed, thanks too their super-tough skin. Tinky Winky and Splinter were up against the Collector. "Prepare to be collected!" he said.

"Is that really your catch phrase? Because it really bites," complained Tinky.

"Stay focused, purple grasshopper," said Splinter.

"Who are you, the Master from Kung Fu the series? And do I look like Kwai Chang Kane to you anyhow?"

"Barely. Anyway, collect this!!" he shouted.

He then shot out an array of stylish, yet painful martial arts attacks at breakneck speed. While he did so, Tinky sent a couple of his special antennae bolts from his…well…antennae. That quickly finished the Collector. Meanwhi…well, you get the picture. Dipsy and Cody were facing Zuko…yes, the Triceraton. For some reason, Zuko was not speaking. All he did was grunt. "What's the matter? Turtle got your tongue?" Cody taunted.

Zuko only grunted louder, and shouted in a very scary way, and then charged towards the duo headfirst! Cody, expecting anything, executed a very powerful wheel kick, but it only made him angrier. He then pounced on top of Turtle X, so in reaction, Cody shoved him off the top, making him spin a couple inches upwards. Taking advantage of the air time, Dipsy shot a charged up antennae bolt at a clear shot of Zuko's torso, sending Zuko flying off the table so fast, a smoke trail traced Zuko's path! On the other half of the table, the last pair, Barney and Po, were up against Viral and Sh'Okonabo. Probably the most aggressive ones there, you would think that this battle would be the hardest one so far. If you thought this battle was going to be kind of hard, think again. It wasn't hard at all! Well, maybe for Barney, though. Although Sh'Okonabo was very aggressive, not to mention scariest and most intimidating character there, the hero duo found no trouble in defeating them, well, maybe Barney did. Barney is actually much _much_ larger than how he looks in the show. So, having the enormous size, he decided to step on him. Bad idea. _Really_ bad idea. In just a matter of five seconds, Barney's leg started to shake. Then just after, Sh'Okonabo flipped Barney, and started smashing him on the floor on either side of him. Worried about his annoying, yet kind friend, Po, shot out an antennae bolt at Sh'Okonabo, slightly dazing him. Barney was also dizzy, but that was from all the spinning. Immediately, Viral came to Sh'Okonabo's assistance, but as she began to heal him, Po shot out another antennae bolt at Viral. Although she had mastered to control every form of electricity in her universe, this was unfamiliar to her as it was not from the Ninja Turtle universe. In the confusion, Viral blew up, taking Sh'Okonabo in the explosion as well. They did not die though. Too bad for the turtles. It looked like everyone had beaten all the villains, but there was one villain they had not beat yet. Do I have to say it? Are you really that dumb? Well, if you haven't figured it out yet, I guess you are. "Darius Dun!" you shout out.

Yes! Give the man/woman a dollar! Everyone was exhausted from all the fighting, but behind them, Darius came out in his robotic battle suit. "Ha! You all probably think you have won! Fools you are! You may have overthrown my minions, but you have yet to conquer the master!" he boasted.

"Wow. Is he always really that conceited?" mumbled Tinky Winky.

"Zinga," replied Leonardo.

"Well, it's not like _you're_ any different," said Po.

"Shut up, Po," grumbled Tinky Winky.

"SILENCE!! Prepare for the battle of your lives!" shouted Darius.

"That's what they always say. They never really are," said Dipsy.

Darius paid no attention to that response, and started firing his laser. Everyone easily dodged the destructive lights. Barney then attempted to step on Darius. However, his leg started to shake again, and Darius flipped Barney, and started smashing him on the floor on either side of him. "N-N-NOT AGAIN!" shouted Barney.

Darius then threw Barney to the side of the table. "Ow," he said.

The ninja turtles did their usual thing. One hindered him, which was usually Mikey, and then Leonardo and Raph beat the heck out of him like when meat is being punched by Rocky. Cody then sent some exploding rockets into Uncle Darius' general direction. Being torn down from all the action, Darius rocketed his robotic arms into the turtles' heads! "Does he usually do that?" asked Lala.

All Leo was able to say was, "No."

The rocket arms then sent the turtles several feet in the air, nearly knocking them off the table. "Ooh, that's gotta hurt!" shouted Tinky Winky.

"This probably looks very amusing for you dudes, but we could use a hand over here!" shouted Mikey.

Dipsy was the first to dash towards Darius, followed by Po. The two Telebubbies shot out bunches of antennae bolts at Darius, seriously wearing him down. Tinky Winky and Lala then joined the fray, although Lala had to persuade Tinky Winky…a lot. They then all started shooting antennae bolts at him, while the turtles and Splinter gave him a couple of good chops and kicks, and Cody gave a good balance of physical attacks, rapid fire lasers and exploding projectiles. This nearly made the battle suit explode, until Darius shouted, "STOOOOPPPPP!!!!".

Everyone stopped attacking, and Darius collapsed onto the ground. He then climbed out of his half-destroyed battle suit and flew away in his escape pod. "You haven't seen the last of me! Mark my words, I'll get you, my turtles, and your little rat, too!" he shouted as he escaped.

"Isn't it insulting that he didn't mention us?" complained Tinky Winky.

No one answered. "Well, we should be heading back to New York," said Leonardo.

"Nice moves, bubs!" saluted Raphael.

Everyone then went back into the apartment, where Spongebob and Donatello reappeared from their journey. "Well, we should be leaving now," said Dipsy.

But just as they were about to transport themselves, Michelangelo came running to them. "Hey dudes, wait up! I'd like to tag along too!" he said.

"Mikey, are you sure?" asked Leonardo.

"Of course he is! Let him go!" said Raph with excitement in his voice.

"Raph is right, I am sure. Besides, Splinter can take over for me. Isn't that right, master?"

Splinter simply said, "As long as you help the team, you may go."

"YES! See you later my brothers!" Mikey said excitedly.

They all then transported themselves into the 'Select Show' area, including Mikey. Everyone was curious about what Spongebob saw in his time travel trip. "So Spongebob, why were our shows cancelled?" asked Dipsy.

"Well, it's kind of a long story…"


	10. Enter the Omega

Teletubbies: Ultimate Censorers

Chapter 10: Enter the Omega

Note: Spongebob is narrating this entire chapter, but to keep things simple, I will not put quotations when Spongebob is speaking as the narrator.

Well, it's kind of a long story, but here goes. After I left with Donny, we traveled to 2060, the year most of our shows were cancelled. Sorry, Barney. Anyway, I used my transport power to transport Donny and myself to the Select Show area. First, we flew in Donny's time machine to find my home world, Bikini Bottom. While we flew, though, I thought I saw a set of silhouettes. I couldn't really make them out, but there were six of them, and they were fat, _real_ fat. Donny leaned over and asked me, "Hey Spongebob, do you know those guys?"

"That's a negative, Donatello, do you know 'em?" I asked.

"If I knew them, would I be asking you if you knew them?" he replied.

"No, but I asked you to see if you knew them because I wasn't sure if you just didn't recognize them and in result asked me if I knew them while I didn't have a clue about who they were."

"What?"

"Never mind."

It seemed they were also heading towards Bikini Bottom, so we followed them. Carefully, Donny drove the time machine so that it ducked into my cube. The silhouettes headed towards my place of employment, the Krusty Krab. There, my co-worker Squidward and my employer Mr. Krabs were checking the change in the cash register, Squidward looking at the celing once in a while, probably day dreaming about getting his paycheck. Mr. Krabs was very focused on his moola, which gave the mysterious people a chance to sneak into his office. "What the shell are they doing?" asked Donny.

"Beats me," I replied.

Donny put on his diving suit, and we exited the time machine, following the strangers in. There we could see the mystery guys checking Krabs' vault, and with that, they took out the Krabby Patty Secret Formula! At this action, I thought that they could be thieves working for Plankton, but that was impossible! Plankton in no way could get the secret formula, and he could much less get someone to work for him without crushing him! So they exited the Krusty Krab very quickly and transported themselves to the Select Show area. I stayed at the Krusty Krab with Donny and waited to see what happened next. As I could tell, it was about that time where Mr. Krabs finished counting his money. "Forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty, blue, apple sauce, the Viacom Corporation building…there we go! Every bit of money has been checked and accounted for!" he finished.

"Hoorah," said Squidward less than enthusiastically.

"Well, now that that's settled, time to bring me money to me office," he said.

"Quick, hide," I whispered.

So Mr. Krabs entered his office, and put it in his vault. That's when he noticed something was missing. "Hmm," he said.

Suddenly, he realized it. The vault for the Krabby Patty Secret Formula was empty! Mr. Krabs immediately gasped and then started running around the Krusty Krab like a maniac while shouting in a bloodthirsty way like a maniac, and started crying tears out of the ends of his eyes…like a maniac. After just four seconds of the tantrum, every single customer had left. They didn't even bother to take the food with them. After his fit of maniacal rage, he ran to the Chum Bucket so fast, a path of fire traced his path! "YOU!!" Mr. Krabs yelled.

Plankton turned his head to see Krabs. "What is it, Krabs?" he asked annoyingly.

"You think you're SO sneaky, do ya? Well, one thing is for sure, ya can't take me formula!" he screamed.

"I know I can't," Plankton said calmly.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Plankton! And another thing! If you think that for more than two seconds, you can keep me formula, well you're DEAD wrong!"

"Didn't I just say I didn't take it?" he asked.

"Ya--hmm…ya know, you're right. Ya can't even get a couple of guys to work for you without crushing you," Mr. Krabs said.

"Don't remind me," moaned Plankton.

"But…if you didn't take the formula, then who did?" Mr. Krabs questioned.

Plankton just shrugged. Donny and I stopped watching from out the window, and suddenly, I realized it. "That's it! Without the secret formula, I can't make Krabby Patties which means I'd be out of a job which means I wouldn't be able to pay my mortgage which means my house would be auctioned which means I'd have to move which means everyone in Bikini Bottom except Squidward would be miserable which would make viewers unhappy which means that they would have to cancel _Spongebob Squarepants_."

"Wow. Now you sound a lot like Leo," Donny said.

"Yes well, I try. Anyway, I've memorized the secret formula, so I'll just write it down here and drop it in the vault!" I exclaimed.

So both of us got back into the time machine, and I transported it back to the Select Show area. There we followed the silhouettes carefully since they were already very far away. They dived into the Telebubbies' cube, so we followed. There, they sneaked into the Tubbie house. Inside, they went quietly to Tinky Winky's bed and placed a gun in the bed!! Obviously, these people did not know that the Teletubbies had become Telebubbies so now they would know the difference. But if they had not become the Telebubbies, imagine what kind of havoc would Tinky Winky cause! Either way, it's a children's program so if there even was a picture of a gun, it would immediately go off the air! So after they left, we picked up the gun, and Donny stashed it in his shell for safe keeping. That was the last show that was taken off the air that year, so we transported to twenty years before in our time machine, the year where Barney's show got cancelled. So we headed towards Barney's cube and entered. There, behind the school, the same strangers were with that relatively new dinosaur, whose name I think was Riff. The strangers were saying to Riff, "It's time. Time to leave this joint and end this show," they said.

"Yes, my masters," said Riff!

"Riff said that?!? Why, when I get back, I'll totally teach her a lesson!" said Barney. (as a listener)

Whoa, Barney, you don't know the weirdest part! After Riff started heading out, YOU and Baby Bop and B.J. came! I don't know how that's possible. But you said, "Say, Baby Bop, have you seen Riff?" the Barney there said.

"Gee-whiz, Barney, I was about to ask you the same question," said the Baby Bop there.

"I know what we should do," said B.J., "We should look for her!"

"That's a super-dee-duper idea, B.J.!" said the Barney there.

So you guys there all split up, looking for Riff, not knowing she had headed for the hills. In all the confusion, the silhouettes placed another gun in the center. At this sight, they would be scared to death, which would end the series! I explained this to Donny, so we quietly took the gun and placed it in Donny's shell. But as we put it in, the strangers spotted us! "Hey, you two! What do you think you're doing?" one said.

"Saving this show, duh!" I said.

Donny looked at me slightly angry. "That…wasn't a very smart thing to say, was it?" I asked nervously.

"Nope," was all Donny said.

The strangers started diving towards us, still their image darkened by the sun. Donny and I jumped out of the way, and Donny used his giant stick to strike him or her or whatever it was. He tumbled slightly north and I karate chopped him. I didn't know if it was fate to not see them clearly, because I was blinded by something when I struck him. Suddenly, Barney shot out, "What's all the commotion out there?"

"Yikes!" we all said, and we all transported ourselves to the Select Show area!

They didn't bother going anywhere else, and we had saved all the shows, so we decided going back to the time where you guys should have finished fighting the villain party. "Whoa, that was awesome sponge dude!" said Michelangelo. (listening to the story)

Yeah, and that's the end, so let's get back on track and keep saving shows. (End Spongebob's narrating.) When he finished he noticed a cube that said "VG.33.1.8:00". "Ooh! VG means this show is based on a video game. The number of video game-based shows has diminished much since twenty years ago! We should go in!" said Spongebob, which meant…Viva Piñata!


	11. No Vivas Por Nada

Teletubbies: Ultimate Censorers

Chapter 11: No Vivas Por Nada (You Don't Live For Nothing)

A simple look could tell you that you were on Piñata Island, 'cause it would be extremely colorful, many beautiful environments, and there would be more Piñatas than you probably would ever see at all the parties you would ever go to combined! However, the guys here didn't know that. "What the heck is this place?" asked Tinky Winky.

"It looks like a place Donatello would dream about," said Mikey.

The environment fascinated Dipsy and Spongebob. "My, this is one of the most beautiful places I have seen!" said Spongebob.

"You really need to get out more," said Dipsy.

"_I_ need to get out more? Look at you! You're like trapped in a valley in who knows where!" said Spongebob.

In moments, they dived headfirst to Piñata Central. Here, they were in "the boss'" room. Only a table with a bowl of fruit in the center greeted them. "Where is everyone?" asked Mikey.

"Probably eating their hearts out," said Tinky Winky.

"Ooh! You watch Captain America!" said Mikey.

"Who?"

"Captain America. Ya know, the Marvel super hero. Not as popular as Spider-Man."

"I have no idea who you're talking about."

Suddenly a voice seemed to come out of nowhere. "SILENCE!!!!!!"

"Who said that?" asked Po.

"SILENCE!!!!!!"

"Where is that coming from?" asked Spongebob. 

"SI…sigh never mind. Look under the orange, there's a radio."

"He's right, guys. Walkie-talkie under the citrus," reassured Dipsy.

"So…we're getting talked to by a bowl of fruit? That's kinda stupid," moaned Tinky Winky.

"Go ahead, purple. Shake my banana, see what happens," said the bowl of fruit.

Once he touched the banana, he was electrocuted! "YAHHHH!!!!!"

"Whoo! I like him! It's about time someone electrocuted him!" clapped Po.

"I'm just sorry it wasn't me," said Dipsy.

"Langston, call the electrician," said the bowl of fruit.

"Who's Langston?" asked Po.

"That answer is classified," said the bowl of fruit.

Everyone gave him "The Stare". "Oh, alright, fine! He's my Piñata Wrangler!" confessed the bowl of fruit.

"Hold on…did you just say 'Piñatas'? You wrangle piñatas?" asked a seriously weirded out Spongebob.

"Uhh, yeah. Everyone who lives here is a piñata including me, except for a couple people. Why do you ask such obvious questions?" said the bowl of fruit.

"Uhh…because we're not piñatas?" said Po questioningly.

"NOT PIÑATAS?!? Okay boss, calm down," the bowl of fruit said to himself.

"Boss? You're the boss of who?" Tinky Winky, still a bit dazed from the electrocution.

"Oh for piñata's sake, boss of the entire island!" said the boss.

"Okay…so anything going on here?" asked Mikey.

"Well, there are two particular piñatas who have been avoiding off-island parties. Before you ask, we have a cannon that blasts piñatas to other parts of the world for parties."

"Who are they? We're up for a mission," said Lala.

"The names are Paulie Preztail and Fergy Fudgehog. Langston has tried for months to catch them, but he always fails! Perhaps you people could catch them."

He put up a slide projector and showed the television posse two screen shots, one of Paulie and another of Fergy. Dipsy somehow memorized the pictures so they could start heading out. "'Kay, know how they look like, we can head on out."

"Alright. You may head out the exit. Please don't fail me," the boss said.

After this, they pretty much wandered around aimlessly, looking around for either that fox or hedgehog piñata people. After about an hour, they stumbled upon a nice garden with a beach house on it. "Awesome pad this guy's got!" said an excited Mikey.

No sooner had he said this that Franklin Fizzlybear came out, and at the sight of these nine, he was totally freaked out! "Wahhhh!" he shouted in his surfer dude 'Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure' way.

The nine were equally scared. "Yikes!" they all shouted.

"What kind of piñatas are you?" asked Franklin nervously.

"We aren't piñatas," answered Spongebob.

"Well, I could tell that the Swiss cheese guy wasn't one," muttered Franklin redundantly.

"I'M A SPONGE GOSH-DARN IT!" shouted Spongebob.

"Well, _now_ I can see that," said Franklin.

"Are you implying something?!?" demanded Spongebob.

"No, not at all."

"Yeah, that's what they always say."

"I'm not!"

"WILL YOU TWO STOP IT?!?" shouted Po.

There was an awkward silence for about seven seconds. "So…who are you?" asked B.J. nicely.

"My name is Franklin Fizzlybear, but most people call me Franklin," said Franklin gracefully.

"Guess it's introductions time again. My name's Tinkonius Winkolemue, but I go by Tinky," sighed Tinky Winky.

"Dipsangule, but I'm called Dipsy, nice to meet ya," shook Dipsy.

"Larentila, nickname's Lala."

"Potelier, Po."

"Spongebob."

"Barney."

"B.J."

"Baby Bop."

"My name's Michelangelo, I go by Mikey and I think it's totally awesome that I'm talking to a piñata that resembles a grizzly bear right now!" said a very happy and excited Mikey.

Franklin was slightly scared by Mikey's "unsubtleness", but straight to his kind nature, Franklin immediately made friends with them. "So can I be of assistance in any ways, bros?" asked Franklin.

"Well, we were looking for Paulie Preztail and Fergy Fudgehog to take them to the Candinada like the boss instructed," replied Dipsy.

"I'm scared at how well you remember their strange names," Tinky said under his breath.

"Dudes, ya know that's totally bogus, 'cause those two, like fear parties and stuff. However, it would be a chance to show those dudes that parties aren't so bad," thought Franklin.

"So will you take us to them?"

"Like, sure dudes."

So they walked a couple yards, since theirs houses were nearby, and they found Paulie and Fergy in Fergy's mud hut. "Oh, hey Franklin! Say, who are those piñatas you've got with you?" asked Paulie.

"WE'RE NOT PIÑATAS!!!!!" Spongebob screamed psychopathically.

"Alright, alright, dude, chillax!" insisted Paulie.

"So, what are you guys doing here?" asked Fergy.

"We are here to take you to a party," said Tinky.

"GASP! Franklin, how could you let this happen?!?" asked a pissed-off preztail.

"Look dudes, I know you like, dread parties, but you really ought to take my word, parties are fun," reassured Franklin.

"How is getting beaten by brats with bats fun?!?" asked Paulie.

"Have I ever lied to you guys before?" asked Franklin with a hopeful smile.

"Well, not counting the times when you ate those personality changing raisin pies, never, but um…where was I? Oh yes. YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, YOU PEOPLE THAT LOOK LIKE PIÑATAS EXCLUDING FRANKLIN BECAUSE HE IS ONE!!!!" yelled Fergy maniacally.

They both started running inside the house, toppling over chairs, tables, and candy containers in the process, Po and Michelangelo teamed because they were the most agile, and chased Fergy and Paulie. They chased each other through the Foyer, swinging on light fixtures, in kitchens accidentally heating the stove while standing on it, getting tangled by shower curtains in the bathroom, and turning on music on a jukebox in the bedroom. Finally, they drove themselves to the outside, where Franklin and Barney easily caught them. "You'll regret this!!!!!!!" yelled Fergy.

"Dudes, you're in serious need of a party," said Franklin in a worried tone.

Just then, Langston appeared to capture the two piñatas himself, not knowing they had just been captured. "Alright, Fergy, Paulie! It's party time! Time to come to the Candinada!" he bellowed.

"Sorry, lickatoad dude. The rebels have just been caught," said Franklin.

"You caught those two?!? How? When? Where?" he drooled rapidly.

"Calm down, dude. Should we take them to the Candinada?" asked Franklin.

"I can't believe what I'm hearing!" Paulie and Fergy exclaimed.

"No! Rare catches such as these should be taken to the boss first…in Piñata Central!" directed Langston.

Night fell as they headed to Piñata Central, where Langston opened the doors to see…the boss in the flesh? "Hello, Langston," said the boss.

"Boss? You're here? In the flesh? With no radios under fruit bowls?" Langston questioned amazingly.

"Ehh…yeah. I'm here!" said the boss.

There was something familiar about this guy. It was just no one there could put their foot or paw on it. "Boss, we have captured the two piñatas you requested," said Langston triumphantly.

"Excellent!" said "the boss".

"Should we take them to the Candinada?" asked Langston.

"Ehh…no!"

"No?"

"We must first take them to…uhh…to my secret lair!" he stuttered.

"I didn't know you had a secret lair," said Langston.

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me," said "the boss".

So "the boss" led the group to his secret lair, in a mountainous region of Piñata Island. "The boss" led the group to a cave in one of the mountains. All of a sudden, the path ended, and everyone fell into a mechanical looking room. "Now I want all of you piñatas to come onto this dance floor," "the boss" said.

"I'm sorry, but I don't dance," said the Telebubbies and Langston altogether.

"Fine, but you're gonna miss out on a great song," "the boss" said.

"That's alright," they said.

So "the boss" went up to his jukebox and played a song…that turned everyone on the dance floor into mindless dancing zombies! "Now just keep dancing until the song is done…" said "the boss" as he walked behind a curtain, "…which will be never!! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Soon, all of those ridonculously candy-filled piñata's candy will be mine, or my name isn't…Professor Pestor! That's right reader! I am Professor Pestor, and I am here to ruin your little reading session!" said "the boss" or should I say Professor Pestor?

"Ahem, excuse me, writer, I'm sort of trying to ruin the reader's fun."

Yeah, but whoever holds the keyboard writing this story controls the story. "Oh yeah, forgot about that. Darn it."

At the volume he was talking at, everyone who was not dancing, namely the Telebubbies and Langston, heard his plot and his arguing with me, the writer. "Oh no! Professor Pestor's going to dance the piñatas into a state of candy-throwing madness!" warned Langston.

"You didn't have to tell me twice," complained Tinky.

"I'll go stop the music," declared Dipsy.

So he headed to the jukebox and pressed the stop button. It kept playing. He turned off the jukebox. It kept playing. He created a hammer that the writer decided to give him and smashed the jukebox to a thousand pieces. It still kept playing. "OH NO!! IT'S HAPPENING ALL OVER AGAIN!!!" said Po.

"Po, relax. We'll stop the music and save everyone…I hope," said Dipsy.

Dipsy tried two hundred and one times to stop the music, but all attempts failed. Langston couldn't take it anymore. "That's it! If there are no more piñatas, there's no more parties, and if there's no more parties, then I'm out of a job!" Langston whined.

He suddenly became extremely furious, hopped behind the curtain, and landed on Professor Pestor's shoulders. A random person held up a card that read, "10". Langston shouted to Pestor, "Listen here, Poindexter! How do you stop that music?" asked Langston.

"Ha! Silly lickatoad! Only I can stop the music!" taunted Professor Pestor.

"Listen here! YOU BETTER STOP THAT MUSIC AND LET THOSE PIÑATAS GO, OR ELSE I'LL RIP YOUR HEART OUT OF YOUR CHEST!!!!!" said the seriously ticked-off lickatoad.

"Cool!" said Tinky Winky.

Professor Pestor was so scared, he only shook his head "yes". He stopped all the music, and all the dancers stopped dancing and candy throwing except for Barney, B.J., Baby Bop, Spongebob, and Mikey since they were not piñatas. "Whoa dude, I just totally zoned out," said Mikey and Franklin together.

"Awesome!" they said together again.

"Curse the writer!" said Pestor.

However, Langston was still fuming, so he kicked Pestor so hard, he went flying out of his lair to outside Piñata Island! "I have no regrets!" he shouted as he flew and landed in the ocean very close to the Piñata Island shore.

Right next to the place he landed, his Ruffians were in a motor boat waiting for him. "I take it back! Love the author!" he shouted.

After about an hour of getting candy back into themselves, they all headed back after sharing a friendly goodbye. "Well dudes, I'll be seeing you," said Mikey.

"Huh? Why? You don't have to leave, that is, if you don't want to," said Po.

"I just realized something. If we're in a video game world, then this world will probably lead to other video game lands…maybe some that need fixing. See? We'll be able to kill two birds with one stone!" realized Mikey.

"That's awesome thinking, Mikey!" said Dipsy.

"I'll be missing ya, dude," said Tinky Winky to Mikey.

"Ahh, you'll see me again. I promise," said Mikey.

"See ya dude…in the future!" Tinky Winky said.

"He, good one. I'll see ya one day soon! Bye!" said Mikey.

And with that, he blasted himself in the Candinada to video game lands unknown. "Well, look at that! We ended up fixing lots of things! Well, we should go now," decided Dipsy.

"Goodbye, Piñata Island!" ended Spongebob.

So they all warped back to the Select Show area, and after several minutes, entered a cube that read "C.64.3.10:00-12:00" which is Dipsy's favorite show, Criss Angel: Mindfreak!


	12. Whistlin' Dipsy

Teletubbies: Ultimate Censorers

Chapter 12: Whistlin' Dipsy

The Luxor Hotel & Casino was like the home of Criss Angel. His suite was one of the biggest in the hotel. It also had a nice Egyptian theme. Criss Angel was world-famous for his incredible illusions and stunts. But cheating death was…just not natural. In all means, cheating death even once was one of the greatest tricks ever, in other words, a Mindfreak! Anyway, it was 10:00 P.M. in Las Vegas, the Luxor's location. The Telebubbies, Spongebob, and the Barney team arrived just in front of the pyramid-shaped inn. "So…Las Vegas, huh?" muttered Tinky Winky.

"You're not going to be gambling on anything," commanded Po.

"Besides, we'll have enough fun riding in my new corvette!" Po shouted like he was the happiest person on Earth.

"Don't rub it in," whispered Tinky.

They climbed into the expensive car, and Po took the wheel. He took out his keychain, and started the car. "It's like we've released a panther," he growled.

"Or an expensive corvette with great mileage," said Tinky.

"Excuse me, you're interrupting my simile," complained Po.

"Ha! Similes are for squares…like pants! That's why I don't wear any!" said Tinky.

"You're in a suit! It's all clothing!" revealed Po.

They stopped arguing, and headed towards the street. "It sure is a nice night. The sky is cloudless; the neon illuminates the road, a day for a perfect…HOLY COW! A HIJACKER!!!" shouted Lala!

The once empty seat between Spongebob and Baby Bop was suddenly occupied by some freako! Strangely, the hijacker was not a bit tense, but extremely calm…and impressed. "Say, this car breaks pretty quickly!" said the hijacker.

Po was too agitated to handle this, and responded, "So does my foot. Now git!"

"Red guy, don't you recognize me? I'll give you a hint. I am a better magician than Houdini, and I am also very sexy."

"Please! I am driving!" complained Po.

The hijacker started breathing deeply, and slowly, the car began to levitate! "Now you're not."

"Cheese and crackers, you're Criss Angel! Oh my goodness, my brother is such a big fan of yours!" said Tinky.

"Who? The red one?"

"No, the green one."

"The only green one here is the weirdo in the triceratops suit, and I'll be safe and say that she is definitely not your brother."

"Dipsy, tell your favorite celebrity that you are my brother that is a fan of his," said Tinky.

There was no response. "Dipsy, are you here?"

Just now, they noticed. Dipsy was missing! "Alright, son of the mask, tell me where my brother is!" demanded Tinky Winky furiously.

"I didn't do anything," Criss responded.

"Seriously!"

"Seriously, I didn't do anything to him! I don't even know what he looks like!" confessed Criss.

"Fine, I give up! I'm sure he'll turn up somewhere," said Tinky.

"Tinky, are you really gonna give up that easily? He's your brother gosh-darn it! I have ways of making the likes of him talk," said Spongebob.

Spongebob took out a handgun that Donny had given him earlier, and put it on Criss' neck. "Now, I'm going to count to ten, and you are going to tell me where Dipsy is. One…" Spongebob started.

Spongebob cocked the gun. "…two…"

He put his finger on the trigger. "…nine…"

"Honestly, I do not know where he is!" pleaded Criss.

"Alright, that settles it. If he is about to die, and he doesn't confess, he is telling the truth," decided Spongebob.

"Tell Dipsy now that sea sponges aren't violent!" said Po.

"I would if he were here!!" complained B.J.

Po looked at Criss. "We're still levitating, aren't we?"

"Oops. Yeah. Here we go," Criss found out.

The car went crashing down, and the car alarm went off and so did the one of the car they squashed. "I'm okay!" said the guy that owned the crushed car, as he got out just in time.

Eventually, they got the corvette out of the heap with only a couple of dents and scratches. "I thought you could take it out undamaged!" complained Po to Criss.

"I am a magician, not a miracle worker."

"Well, at least the car still runs," said Barney optimistically.

"Yeah, but we got a flat," said Tinky.

"…You just had to ruin my little moment of optimism, didn't you?"

Tinky Winky shrugged, and said, "What can I say? It's my nature."

They were lucky enough to get the car to a tire repair shop before the tire exploded…literally. Some Japanese guy came to assist them. "Ooh, that's a bad one. That will be $499.99."

"$499.99?!?"

"Plus tax."

"We just want a new tire, not your entire stock!" complained Po.

"Sorry. It's a busy day, and it's late."

Criss plopped the five hundred thirty-five bucks on the counter. "You just had to ruin my day, didn't you?"

The Japanese guy just shrugged, and hot-wired the car to bring it into his garage without a key. They had no choice but to sit in the waiting room, so that's what they did. Lala poured a mocha frappe for everyone from the coffee machine, and sat down. Po decided to strike up a conversation. "So, Criss, not to sound rude or anything, but why did you hijack my car?"

"I was being chased," Criss leaned in.

"By who? Some crazed fans?" suggested Tinky Winky.

Criss looked at him. "I'll pretend like I didn't hear that. Anyway, I was being chased…by the Grim Reaper."

Lala backed her head. "Mindfreak magician say wha?"

"The Grim Reaper."

"The Grim Reaper? How? And why?" asked a totally confused Barney.

"You guys have watched my show, and you know what I do. I cheat death. It's almost like a hobby. Now naturally, no one can cheat death. It's against the laws of nature. So, the Grim Reaper, the nasty fellow, wished revenge upon me. So he's come to the human world to capture me, and then probably kill me."

"But I don't get it? Can't you just use your crazy powers to make him go back?"

"Did you not hear me? The Grim Reaper! My powers don't work on that freaky immortal guy!"

"Alright then, he would never look in a tire repair shop," said B.J.

"That's what I'm hoping," Criss bit his lip.

Back at the front of the repair shop, a guy dressed in a heavy black cloak entered. The Japanese guy came back to the cash register. "Excuse me, sir. Can I help you?" he asked.

"I seek the one known as Criss Angel," the robed man said.

"Why should I tell you?" asked the Japanese guy.

The robed man began to growl. The Japanese guy was freaked out. "Uhh, he's in the back with a couple of freakoes," he said.

"Thank you," said the robed man.

He headed towards the waiting room. The gang obviously noticed him. "Oh my goodness!"

"Criss Angel…it's time for…" the robed man started, but he was interrupted by the Japanese guy.

"Uhh, Po, your car is ready," he said.

"O—kay. It's time for you to…"

"RUN!!" said Criss.

They quickly entered the garage, and started the car quickly and headed out. The Japanese guy came out again and said, "Uhh…your welcome!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah Japanese guy," shot Tinky.

"My name is Khim!" he shot back.

"Whatever!" they all said.

The robed man entered the garage. "You can't run from me! I am the Grim Reaper!!" he laughed.

The Japanese guy looked freaked out. "Whoa, dude you have gotta take it easy on the caffeine!"

The Grim Reaper paid no attention to that response, and ran after the red corvette. "He's hot on our tail!" warned Baby Bop.

Po looked at Criss and said, "So what now, genius?"

"Hmm…I've got it! Make a left here!" Criss snapped.

Po made his car screech over to the left. "Now park up at that castle-shaped place!"

They parked right at the emergency parking space at the Excalibur, which was the castle-shaped place Criss was talking about, and headed towards the back door, right next to a dumpster. They hurried into the hallways, scaring janitors with their appearance. The Grim Reaper was hot on their track so they had to run. "Any more bright ideas?" questioned Lala.

"Umm…there! Go into that huge metal door!" directed Criss.

"Uhh, I don't think you've noticed, but there's a giant lock that's locked the place!!"

"Mindfreak time…"

Criss raised his arms while he ran, looked up, and put his arms fully extended in front of him, hands forming a small wall. He then slowly put them forty-five degrees behind him, and commanded, "Dash towards the door!"

They sprinted wildly towards the door, and just as everyone braced themselves for pain upon impact, Criss made a mighty yell, and they literally went through the door unharmed, without breaking it! "Okay, now I am officially freaked out," said Tinky.

They all came across an empty, dirt floor stadium. "This is where I did my famous quad drag escape."

They all examined the breathtaking giant stadium, until a loud crash was heard from behind! The gigantic metal doors went flying everywhere, broken. Out from the dust emerged the Grim Reaper! "No way he could have done that," exhaled Barney.

"He's the Grim Reaper. He can do nearly anything," explained Criss again.

"Enough! There is no use in running! Soon, you will join me in the place of banishment!" the Grim Reaper roared.

Po stepped in front of Criss. "There's no way you're taking him! You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us!" Po pointed.

"Then you will all perish together!" bellowed the Reaper.

He took out his oversized sickle, and removed his hood. Everyone else prepared for battle. The Grim Reaper fast-walked towards Criss first, and attempted to swipe his sickle at him, and Criss easily dodged it by jumping backwards. Po ran towards the Grim Reaper quickly and shot an antennae bolt at him. Unfortunately, the Grim Reaper deflected it with his sickle, heading back towards the group. Criss reacted first. He used his crazy powers to redirect the bolt by putting his hands above and below the bolt, then pushing it without touching it. That super powered the bolt, making it super fast and super powerful, which hit the Grim Reaper before he had a chance to react, pushing the Grim Reaper several feet back with about three seconds of air time. The Grim Reaper landed heavily on his back, delaying his recovery time about two seconds.

Acting quickly, Barney finally stomped him without any drawbacks. This made a small crater in the Grim Reaper's shape about one and a half feet deep. For another quick attack, B.J. and Baby Bop made an ear-piercing roar at the crater, damaging the Grim Reaper. Tinky felt confident, so when the Grim Reaper lifted himself out of the crater, Tinky immediately sent an antennae bolt at the Grim Reaper pushing him back about a yard, which also smashed him into the wall of the hallway. "Forget it, ghosty. You are clearly outnumbered and outmatched. Your sickle will be the death of you," said Tinky and Criss triumphantly.

"Very well. It seems I will need reinforcements then," the Grim Reaper decided.

The Grim Reaper then caused a large line of flames appear behind him, heating the place up. Then without causing the flames to disappear, clones of himself came out of the flames! There were too many to count, somewhere within the range of thousands. Everyone looked at Tinky and Criss strangely. "Way to go, genius," complained Po.

The clones of the Grim Reaper ran towards the posse quickly, taking out their own oversized sickles, and pointing them forward. Before they could react, the clones attacked and nearly ripped them all to shreds! Luckily, Criss quickly grabbed everyone, and levitated to a hard-to-see chandelier. The Grim Reaper clones then threw their sickles at the group, as well as some fireballs from time to time. "Any ideas?" asked Criss.

"Just this one, and it may just be crazy enough to work!" said Spongebob.

After explaining the plan, it took effect. Spongebob swallowed the chandelier, and Criss levitated himself, and shot many blue power balls at Spongebob. When they hit Spongebob, they were redirected out through his holes, hitting many clones at the same time. The three Telebubbies jumped back down to the stadium floor, held hands, and started spiraling while shooting antennae bolts! The Triple Whammy Spiral exploded a good portion of clones. While all this happened, Criss super sized Barney, Baby Bop, and B.J. So in this state, they ran around the stadium like maniacs, squashing another good portion of the Grim Reapers. However, more clones just kept appearing! "It's no use! There's just too many of them!" realized Lala.

"Then maybe you could use a bit of help," said a familiar voice.

Everyone looked back. Suddenly a portal appeared, and out of it came…Dipsy! "DIPSY!!" shouted everyone except Criss, who didn't know who he was.

"Hey, guys," said Dipsy.

"Where have you been?" asked Po.

"I've gone back to pick up Lala's boomerang after I gave her ball to the New York Mafia, who was very hard to find and I also got a refill on even more sensibility weapons. I also brought reinforcements," explained Dipsy.

"Great, because we could really use them right about now," said Tinky.

"You can come out now," called Dipsy.

Suddenly, another portal appeared, and out of it came…Noo Noo. "We're doomed," said Tinky.

"Not so. Noo Noo, engage battle mode!"

"Processing request," Noo Noo said.

As crazy as it sounded, Noo Noo suddenly released a humungous robot body, armed with ten guns! Two guns released ice bullets, another two held pieces of rock and tree branches, while another two were flame throwers, and yet another two were super powerful fans. The last pair of guns held its own version of the Telebubbie's antennae bolts. It also held a crystal control room at the center of the body, for custom user control. "Totally awesome!!" said Criss.

"Criss Angel is here? Oh my goodness, I'm such a big fan! I've seen all your episodes! It's incredible how you made an elephant appear out of nowhere and how you turned a mannequin into a live person!" blabbered Dipsy.

"Um, not to break up the family reunion, but we have a big crisis on our hands!" said Lala.

"Easy. Noo Noo, autopilot your attack mode," Dipsy commanded.

"Attack mode activated," Noo Noo followed.

The same attack plan followed, except Dipsy joined the other Telebubbies in the barrage creating the true Quadruple Whammy Spiral, and Noo Noo used all his guns wisely to destroy even more clones. Lala grabbed her boomerang and threw it, getting about twenty clones with each swing. The Grim Reaper clones kept appearing and kept getting destroyed. Eventually, with all the attacks, the clones were getting destroyed faster than they were being created! This seriously angered the original Grim Reaper. "Grr…this is infuriating! It cannot be!" he fumed.

After a crazy amount of time, every single clone was finally gone! "This is useless! You must stop resisting my attacks!" the Grim Reaper commanded.

"Resisting, huh? Well, how about this one?" Dipsy asked.

The Telebubbies then reformed the Quadruple Whammy Spiral, but this time, they charged up, creating an enormous bolt of power, and just as the Grim Reaper was about to strike with his sickle, the Telebubbies released the ultra charged bolt, and the power hit the Grim Reaper, creating an even bigger, burnt crater in the floor. As for the Grim Reaper himself, he was completely gone. Who knows where he went?

Anyway, after Dipsy spent a lot of time with Criss, they were ready to head back to the Select Show area. "Alright, Criss, we'll be seeing ya," Dipsy promised.

"You will, 'cause I'm coming with you guys," said Criss.

"Really? Awesome!!!!!!"

So everyone including Criss Angel entered the Select Show area, and after fifteen minutes of searching, entered the supposed last place to fix. The cube read, "C.67.1234567.10:00-12:00" which was the final profanity: South Park!


	13. The Final Profanity

Teletubbies: Ultimate Censorers

Chapter 13: The Final Profanity

A portal opened in the middle of a trashy city. Some skyscrapers not nearly as tall as those found in futuristic New York in Chapter 9 were at the four-way intersection they entered at. Two things this city had that futuristic New York didn't was a water tower and a (junky, graffiti-covered) fast food joint. This caught the eye of nearly everyone; they hadn't had anything to eat in about 12 hours. Spongebob and Dipsy began to drool. Tinky and Criss were slightly grossed out. "All right…if you two are going to drool just by looking in the direction of a dirty fast food garage, I suggest we go," Tinky cautioned. 

A slightly unpleasant aroma welcomed them as they headed towards the fast food joint. They entered to their dismay, as nearly everyone there was a drug-addict. Spongebob and Criss were slightly more freaked out than the rest were, and they walked slowly and strangely towards the counter. There, some big, bearded, fat guy sporting a chef's hat confronted the other side of the counter. The chef said groggily, "Yes? Can I help you freaks?"

"Uhh…I guess. Let me get two of your…uhh…pungent-smelling burgers."

"All right. Would you like some beer to go with that?"

Tinky Winky opened his mouth to answer, but Dipsy first said, "Don't even think about it. In fact, don't even think about thinking about it. No thank you."

The chef headed into the kitchen. Loud chainsaw-like sounds came from there. In just one minute, the chef returned with the burgers. Green fumes smoked from their top buns. "Thank you. How much will that be?" asked Criss.

"Forget it. The burgers today are free. The other chef is out, and so I must substitute. Trust me, I wouldn't eat those if I were you."

"We're desperate! Anyway, thanks."

Dipsy turned to the rest of the gang. "What kind of fast food place serves alcohol?"

Everyone shrugged. "This place is SERIOUSLY messed up," realized Dipsy.

"I don't care if they're messed up or not! Gimme that burger!" shouted Spongebob, whisking away the plate from Dipsy's hands.

Spongebob took a humungous bite out of the meaty sandwich…and gagged. "Blech! That's the worst burger I've ever tasted! Not even Squidward's burnt patties are this bad!" shouted Spongebob.

"I warned ya," said the chef.

"Okay, even if that's half as bad as he said, I wouldn't even lick it!" said Dipsy.

As if out of nowhere, Kenny came in. He heard Spongebob's complaints, and confronted him. "Say, are you gonna eat that?" he asked.

"NO!"

"So can I have it?" Kenny asked.

"All right, it's your funeral."

Spongebob barfed as he saw the kid take the burger and nearly eat it in one bite without any complaints. "So are you freaks from out of town?"

"Why does everyone keep calling us freaks?" asked Tinky.

"Do you people own a mirror? Look at you! You look like a Teletubbie!" he snarled.

"That's because we ARE Teletubbies!! And correction, we are now Telebubbies!" said Dipsy.

"Yeah, right. That name is even more ridiculous than your first one!" said Kenny.

"Well, you look like a Teletubbie yourself! And who are you calling a freak, freak?!?" countered Tinky.

"At least I don't have a simple-shaped antennae on my head, freak!"

"You take that back, freak!" shouted Spongebob, as he joined the argument.

"Never, freak!"

"Freak!"

"Freak!"

This continued on for a couple hours, until Eric entered the dive. The fatty freak confronted Kenny. "What the (beep) is going on here?!?"

"These freaks have invaded our turf, and I'm welcoming them!" Kenny exaggerated.

"Enough with the freak crap!"

"You potty-mouth! You're just as bad as Roseanne!" shouted Barney.

"Well, at least it's not as bad as (beep)!"

"That's it! We're never gonna settle this like this!" revealed Criss.

"Criss Angel is here? Holy shrimp, I'm a big fan!" said Eric.

"Bother my popularity! I challenge you and your gang to a duel!" proposed Criss.

"Bwa, ha ha ha ha! That's rich! You and your sissies will never break our bad-boy fighters!" said Eric.

"Um, actually…I kinda have this thing against fighting…" whispered Kenny to Eric.

"Fool! Are you going these prissy little five-year-olds insult us like that without a fight?"

"I have a feeling they're older than five," said Kenny.

"Whatever! These wusses can't defeat a fly!" said Eric, that fool!

"Fine, but we will still be outnumbered! Four on nine is kinda outnumbered," realized Kenny.

"Outnumbered, but not outmatched…"

"How dumb are you people? There are two of you, not four!" said B.J.

"Ahh, but you haven't met our friends,"

"Okay! Where's the duel set?" asked Baby Bop.

"Well, dino-sour, it will be in five minutes at central South Park,"

"Where is that?"

"At the place where you see grass, you dumb(beep)!"

With that, Eric and Kenny plodded out the dive, leaving the group confused. "Those hormonally stressed out children really need a lesson in discipline!" muttered Spongebob.

The posse simply shrugged, and immediately went on a search for this " South Park". Luckily, Barney had a compass, and went south until they reached the city limits. Nothing. They then circled the city limit in search of the park. Just in time for the duel, they found it. (It was a very small city.) "Whoever thought about putting a park entitled 'South' at the north ends of the city limits is an idiot!" said Criss.

In seconds, Eric arrived with Kenny, Kyle, and Stan. "Got lost on the way, didn't ya?" asked Stan.

"The park is misplaced, go figure! I will sue the person that had the idea to plant ' South Park' here in the north reaches of the city," said Lala.

"Done that. Mr. South is the richest person in the city and can bribe the city officials easily," explained Kyle.

"Okay…let the duel begin!" said Criss.

"Bwa ha, with pleasure!" said Eric.

Both sides prepared for battle. This one would be harder than the one with Roseanne because this time, there were four of them, each one knowing swears and curses, plus they were darn good fighters! Nevertheless, they forged onward.

Eric started by lunging his fat self at Barney. This knocked him down, but as Eric was about to bite into his stomach, Spongebob rolled himself into a ball and knocked Eric on the floor like a bowling pin.

Kenny dashed at Po, but Po easily threw a regular antennae bolt at him, knocking him down too.

Kyle dashed at Dipsy, but Dipsy stepped out of the way slowly, and Kyle landed in a lake, devastated.

Stan helped up Kenny, and swore some stuff. He then jumped on top of Tinky Winky, slapping his face with his shoes. Barney came to assist Tinky, and threw Stan to the top of a skyscraper. He was trapped, taking him out of commission.

Kyle climbed out of the lake, and aerial kicked Lala, barely missing her. To counter, she threw her boomerang charged by an antennae bolt. The boomerang slid across Kyle's face, missing him by a hair. The boomerang went very far; barely anyone could spot it. As Kyle tried to spot the boomerang, Lala launched an antennae bolt at Kyle, sending him to the top of an isolated pine tree. That took care of him.

The boomerang returned to Lala, but on the way, it hit Kenny on his neck! With that, he dropped. "Whoops," said Lala.

"Oh, no! Kenny died!" Eric shouted.

"Like that's unusual. You know what's a real Mindfreak? How Kenny resurrects in nearly every show, and then dies again, and the cycle repeats itself. You people should be used to this by now!" said Criss.

Spongebob headed off to find Stan and Kyle. He didn't bother finding Kenny because he was dead. With both of them, Spongebob threw a bunch of sensibility knives at both of them, piercing their evilness.

However, Eric was still standing. "You'll never get me to be sensible! Never!"

"I wouldn't think that," snickered Dipsy.

He then took out a '44 Magnum-style gun. It was actually the most powerful sensibility weapon ever made! "The final profanity," Dipsy shot as the sensibility bullet hit Eric in the spot between his eyes, "gone."

Kenny shook, stuttered, swore his final swears, and dropped unconscious. He would later wake up to be a good, clean person. Spongebob was excited. "That's the last evil on television! We've completed our mission!"

Okay, so it wasn't the last one, but you don't really expect me to put every single bad show in this story, do you? So with their heads high, they warped back to the Select Show area to return home. They had finally finished their journey…or did they?


	14. A Hidden Adversary

Teletubbies: Ultimate Censorers

**WRITER'S NOTE**:Hello again. Just came to say again that I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story EXCEPT Khim (the tire repair guy from Chapter 12) , and as you'll see later in this chapter, the characters the Telecronies (Tricky Whippy, Dipstick, Blah Blah, and Foe) and King Boozbah. Those mentioned characters are copyright Writer's Blah. Have fun reading, 'cause this is the longest chapter in the story.

* * *

Chapter 14: A Hidden Adversary 

As the posse watched the cube that once held _South_ _Park_ explode, they headed towards the Telebubbies' home cube. "Hey, aren't you guys going back to your cubes?" asked Po to Spongebob, the Barney team, and Criss Angel.

"Na. We'll stick around for a while," answered Criss.

They had chosen their decision. So they entered the Telebubbies' cubes to return to Teletubbie/Telebubbie Land. However, as they entered, they noticed something different about home…it was night! The Golden Tubbie was nowhere to be found, and the once peaceful and cute bunnies that inhabited the hills near the Tubbie house had dug an underground hole and entered it. The secret area was lifted from the ground and was now in plain view. Phil and Sheila sat on the grass with worried faces. Dipsy first approached them. "Phil! Sheila! What happened here?!?"

"Hello Dipsangule. The Golden Tubbie has left us for battle."

"Why?"

"We were invaded…and our home was uprooted from the underground chambers for protection."

"Who invaded us?"

"We were invaded…by the Boohbahs."

(Dun, dun dun)

"What?!? How did those oversized marshmallows defeat us?"

"Well, we readied our defenses and Noo Noo activated his defense mode, but all mechanical weapons suddenly went dead, and we were overtaken. Now The Golden Tubbie has left for Storyworld to defeat the Boohbahs, but I'm afraid he won't be able to defeat them alone. He needs help. He needs you guys."

Dipsy returned to his friends. "I can't believe it. We were overtaken…and we weren't there to prevent it," Dipsy said, head down.

Tinky Winky, for once, felt sympathetic. "Don't be so hard on yourself. You did everything in your power to protect the television network from evils. Just because one fell in our absence doesn't mean we're failures."

"Yes. Yes it does. But this won't last long. We are going to the Boohbahs' world, and we will put an end to their horrible tyranny."

"Now there's the Dipsy we all know and love," smiled Spongebob.

Dipsy opened a portal to the Select Show area. "Come on guys. We've got an empire to stop."

So they headed towards the Boobahs' cube and entered quickly. The hills that were once there were replaced by an enormous castle! "Wow. I had no idea the Boohbahs had such good taste," muttered Criss.

"Don't get sidetracked. We need to find the Boohbahs," ordered Dipsy.

They dashed towards the gate, and Criss busted it open with his Mindfreak powers. The inside of the castle was even more impressive than the outside. Red rugs went across the grainy stone tile, and pictures of the Boohbahs were laid across the wall. They walked through the long hallway until they reached a door leading to the center garden. Walls surrounded the garden, a large grass field laid in front of our heroes, as well as a fountain at the center and a small staircase surrounding it leading to a higher part of the garden. They would need all this space though, because as soon as they set foot on the grass, the five Boohbahs jumped from a window from a tall tower and dashed towards the heroes. "Teletubbies? You're alive?" asked Jumbah, the blue one.

"Alive? What do you mean alive? Are we supposed to not be alive?" asked Po.

"I told you that bomb would not work!" whispered Zing Zing Zingbah, the orange one.

"Bomb? You mean the one that knocked us out?" asked Tinky Winky.

"Knocked you out? That bomb was supposed to kill you!"

"Kill me? Why would you want to kill us?" asked Dipsy.

"You see, we have been so underestimated and scored so lowly with the public that we have grown tired of this! We have chosen that we shall destroy the Teletubbies, the only ones that could have the audacity to confront us, and then overthrow every single television show to rule the world!" shouted Jingbah, the hot pink one.

Dipsy tried to coax them. "Overtaking the television network won't just hurt the public. It will hurt everyone…including you. You have no idea what kind of mayhem that would incise upon all shows. Your tyranny would make others plan schemes to overthrow you, and your position in power could jeopardize your entire life."

The Boohbahs, unfortunately, did not care for these things. "Our tyranny would send out soldiers to spy all people, so no one could dare overthrow us without us knowing about it."

"Please! You don't need to do this!"

The Boohbahs readied a fighting stance. "Apparently, I do. And now, I will destroy the only thing that's standing between me and absolute power: the Teletubbies and their friends!"

The Boohbahs suddenly whistled strangely, and a giant door behind them opened slowly with loud, creaking sounds.

From the door came the usual Boohbah sidekicks, Mr. Man, Mrs. Lady, Grandmamma, Grandpappa, Brother, Sister, and of course, Little Dog Fido, but behind them came what looked like the opposite of the Telebubbies! "Teletubbies, have you met your match, the TeleCRONIES? Teletubbies, meet the Telecronies, each with their own weapon specialty! I present to you, Tricky Whippy—whip! Dipstick—poison darts! Blah Blah—dual swords! And lastly, our personal favorite…Fo—bazooka!"

Unlike the other Telecronies, Fo looked nothing like Potelier! Where his antennae should be, a black Mohawk replaced it! Fo also had grown a light beard, he sported shades, and when he grinned maliciously, which he almost always did, he bared his gold tooth…a far cry from the real Po! The only thing he held that made him look more intimidating than he already was, was his giant bazooka! Fo again grinned Fo style, slightly scaring Spongebob. "Ready yourselves, Teletubbies, for the beginning of the end!" Jingbah claimed.

Spongebob looked more closely at the Boohbahs, and suddenly realized something. "That's them! Those are the fat silhouettes I was talking to you about when we left futuristic New York!"

Jumbah looked at Spongebob. "Ah, yes! The Swiss cheese cube man that ruined our plans for Barney's show! We are sure to take care of you too!" revealed Jumbah.

"Any ideas?" gulped Barney.

"Well, let's see…there's nine of us, and sixteen of them…just fight 'till your last breath!" counted Dipsy.

"That will be sooner than you think, Teletubbies, you fools!"

"THAT'S IT! IT'S TELEBUBBIES, NOT TELETUBBIES!" yelled Tinky.

The Boohbahs, without warning, jumped an inch in the air, their legs moved insanely, and dashed at an incredible speed! They easily dashed over the heroes, toppling all of them over! Blah Blah came in jumping in with her dual swords, and slashed Lala crazily, nearly shredding her. Luckily, Lala's boomerang blocked the sword slashes barely, protecting her face. Tricky Whippy danced around with his whip, hitting Tinky Winky several times while Tinky danced to avoid the lashes. Dipsy was reflecting Dipstick's darts with his antennae bolts, making them fall. Not one hit him, but Criss was hit directly in his navel, paralyzing him! Luckily, the effects were only temporary. Po was dealing with Fo's lit shots. Fo laughed maniacally while Po barely dodged the shots. Po found an opening in the slaughter, and fired an antennae bolt at Fo, but his sunglasses prevented him from being blinded from the shot, allowing to hop out of the way.

Barney was dealing with Mr. Man and Mrs. Lady. Mr. Man was secretly a Taekwondo champion, so he aerial kicked Barney, supported by Mrs. Lady, using her fingernails to scratch. Barney bit the nails, and spit them at Mr. Man. He lifted his arm, the nails digging into his skin. His right arm was disabled, but for him, it was no great loss. Baby Bop was circling Grandmamma, and Baby Bop attempted the head butt her, but Grandmamma ninja jumped on top of Baby Bop, making Baby Bop shake her off. Spongebob was…err…intimidated by Little Dog Fido. Fido barked and growled at Spongebob, creeping him out. As Fido attempted to pounce Spongebob, he formed a giant gap in his body, which Fido jumped through as if jumping through a hoop.

Criss finally lifted himself from the grass, over the poison effect. Stubborn Brother lifted his fist at Criss, but Criss easily dodged, by vanishing and reappearing several feet back, where Sister slapped his face. B.J. came to Criss' rescue and squashed Sister. But all the Boohbahs dashed at Criss, and before he could Mindfreak, the crazed feet bounced him to the wall, creating a small crater in his shape. "Okay, that hurt!"

The Boohbahs ran over everyone else in just a matter of ten seconds, and as they began to climb back on their feet, they would come back and knock them down again…painfully. "This is impossible!" shouted Spongebob.

"Exactly, fool! Now prepare to die!" shouted Fo.

As they all trembled in fear, and expected the worst, there came a voice. "Looks like you guys could use some help!"

It was someone they knew. Dipsy looked up, and stayed sitting there, mouth open. From out of the blue…came the Hover Shell! As it landed, the Boohbahs were knocked back from the weight of the thrusters. "Yes! Right back at ya!" shouted Tinky.

"Quiet!"

From the Hover Shell came out not only the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with Splinter and Cody, but from the bridge also came Noo Noo, Fergy, Paulie, Franklin, and Langston! All of their allies were here! "Say, how did you find us?" asked Dipsy.

"Yeah well, earlier I planted a GPS system on Spongebob to not lose him by accident. Since we kinda saw you needed help, we'd figure we could round up your other allies and catch up with you later," explained Donatello.

"O…kay, that's still weird, but who cares? Now we're more evenly matched!"

The turtles readied their weapons and looked at the Boohbahs. "…That's it? This is the big problem?" questioned Michelangelo.

"They may look harmless, but they're actually extremely tough." warned Donatello.

"Yeah, right."

The turtles took no warning, jumped on one of the Boohbah's bodies…and was bounced back. "Ha, ha. Nice try, reptile," taunted Jingbah.

"Reptile? Does that also include me?" asked Langston.

"Langston, dude, chillax. They just meant the giant turtles, not you," explained Franklin.

"Really? Well then, I guess they won't mind if I do this!" shouted Langston, as he took out his net, slammed it down on Zing Zing Zingbah's head, lifted it, spun it dizzily, and threw it at the brick wall.

"Whoa…bumped by a dang piñata!"

He then collapsed.

Zumbah headed towards Langston, but as he did, Noo Noo and Cody's Turtle X started throwing a barrage of different weapons at him. Zumbah was encased in ice by all the cold weapons thrown at him, and then melted by Noo Noo's flame thrower.

Leonardo picked himself and his brothers up, and were about to try to kick Jumbah's body again, but Splinter stopped them. "Wait, my sons. Wait…" Jumbah dashed crazily at the ninjitsu masters. "…and then attack!" Splinter kicked Jumbah on his face, rolling him into the fountain, knocked out.

The only Boohbahs left standing were Jingbah and Humbah, so they took drastic measures. "That's it! We've had enough of this foolishness, prepare to be defeated!" Jingbah and Humbah lifted their feet off the ground, and started flying!

"Oh, man. These guys can fly? They're really light on their feet for oversized marshmallows!" complained Tinky.

"Fliers or not, they must be taken down!" said Dipsy.

"I'm afraid we will not allow that," said Humbah.

The two Boohbahs held hands like a skydiver circle, and both emitted a strange bolt of colored power that was launched downwards, taking half of the turtles out of commission! "Oh, snap!" yelled Mikey, as he fell to the ground disabled temporarily. Donny fell with him, leaving two out of the party.

"Hey! What's the big idea?!? For a couple of guys that look like gumdrops, I don't feel like eating you. For hurting our friends, I feel like taking you two out of commission!" yelled Fergy. "Paulie, cover for me!"

"Much obliged, my friend," said Paulie.

Fergy jumped out, spinning his ridiculously shaped body at the Boohbahs. Humbah got out of the way, which was more than I could say for Jingbah, who was knocked down like a bowling pin. "Grr…that's it! I've had enough! See you later fools!" yelled Humbah, in a scary sort of way.

Humbah started dashing towards everyone in the air, scaring almost all of them out of the way. The only one who didn't move was Franklin, who simply held out his hands and caught Humbah. "I don't believe in fighting, but as I might have done with Monty Mousemallow, I will do anything to do protect my friends, so let us engage in combat!"

"Have it your way, grizzly bear!"

"That's Fizzlybear to you!"

Franklin spun Humbah like a weight in the Olympic Games throw, crashing him into the wall, which after so many hits, crumbled into pieces. "That's the last of the Boohbahs," studied Paulie.

"Which leaves the Telecronies to us!" commanded Dipsy.

Tricky Whippy stepped forward with the rest of the clan. "Are you sure you want to mess with us?"

Dipsy shook his head "yes". Fo stepped forward, grinning menacingly with his gold tooth glittering like a blinding sun. "Ha ha ha! These are the fools we are supposed to face? I pity the bubs!" he said in his unique Mr. T voice.

"Grr…that's it! Allow me to take on this joker, the Mr. T wannabe!" challenged Po!

Po suddenly took a fighting stance and launched himself, feeling like a full-fledged powerhouse. "Okay, I give you points for toughness, but can you handle our weapon onslaught?" threatened Fo.

The Telecronies also prepared for battle, as Fo cocked his bazooka. Tricky Whippy readied his whips, and threw the first lash at Lala, who blocked the whip with her boomerang. As the whip rolled around the boomerang, Lala swung it back at Tricky and knocked him down. Dipstick rushed to Tricky. "Are you going to let a girl do that to you?"

Tricky lowered his eyelids smugly, and quickly got back to his feet. He grabbed his whip back and hit Lala again. Without the boomerang to protect her this time, she raised her arm and allowed the whip to roll around her arm. She winced at the pain, but quickly got over it, and landed the whip in her hand. She lashed out at Tricky, slashing him once or twice. Dipstick came to Tricky's assistance, and blew a poison dart at Tinky Winky. It hit him in the antennae, not hurting him, but temporarily disabling his antennae bolts. "Ach!"

"Tinky, no! You'll pay for that!" shot Dipsy, ironic as he shot his bolt at Dipstick. It blew away his blowgun as well, leaving him defenseless. Dipsy shot another one at Dipstick, who was in front of Tricky, toppling both of them down to the ground.

Meanwhile, Lala used her new whip and boomerang to take out Blah Blah. It wasn't easy, because Blah Blah's dual swords slashed at Lala repeatedly, like when Kirby faced Bugzy, but due to master skills of alternating with the boomerang to lunge Blah Blah's arm outward, then using the whip to slash her several times while disabled. Lala then jumped back as Blah Blah attempted to aerial slash her, then when open, Lala sent an antennae bolt at Blah Blah, knocking her out.

For the last one, Po was facing the malicious Fo. Fo popped out his bazooka. "GET READY TO ROCK AND ROLL, DUDE!"

"You can bet on that, sucker!" Po challenged.

Both circled each other, waiting for an opening. Fo reacted first, and fired his bazooka at Po. Po was hit in his leg, but it didn't hurt him much. Po laughed at the pain. "You call that a shot? Ha! How's about this?"

Po fired an antennae bolt at Fo hardly, and punished him! Fo went flying upwards, and Po jumped in the air, while spinning insanely. While the antennae spun wildly, it smacked Fo several times, and submitted him into the stone fountain. The crater from the smash landing made grey bricks go flying across the garden, and Po landed on top of Fo's body. "Any last words, shooter?"

"Just these. I pity the me!"

Po kicked Fo between his legs, and he went flying to the top of the front tower of the palace. "That takes care of the last one! Looks like we've won again!" said Tinky Winky.

As soon as he said that, the extremely large wooden double doors that lay several feet in front of the floor led by two small staircases opened. "I wish that were true Tinky. Looks like we're not finished yet," warned Dipsy.

The Telebubbies and company headed in the door, leading to a circular room with a winding, seemingly endless staircase. "Up there! Let's go!"

As they climbed the staircase, they breathed deeply, exhausted from sprinting so much. "Huff…hey, guys…puff…what's that?"

As the end of the staircase reared its head, another circular room with many windows spread evenly across the walls appeared in front of them. But what caught Dipsy's attention was small, levitating, white and multi-colored, semi-transparent sparkled ball. "I don't know, but we're gonna find out!" answered Criss.

Po approached the mysterious ball, jumped into the air, and dived into the ball while he shrunk to fit inside the ball, like when Mario enters Boo's Big Haunt world in Super Mario 64. " PO! Are you alright?"

Po's voice echoed from the balll, "Of course I am! Come on in here! There's like a whole 'nother world in here!"

So they took heed to Po's words, and they all entered the floating ball. Inside they encountered a lined room whose walls would change colors. They also found a white five-seated carousel whose seats resembled spoons. "What kind of joke is this?" asked Paulie.

"Well look above the carousel! There's some sort of incomplete portal!"

"Then let's see what it is!"

They all shimmied up the carousel and entered the portal. Inside, the room turned upside down, and they all slowly floated downwards onto some blue-colored floor, with these weird different colored, sparkly, rubber-looking stones with a spiral trench, the path paved with colored stones. At the center of the trench, was a circular floor of…sand. "Okay, I have to admit. The Boohbahs are great interior decorators."

"Well, I'll keep that in mind once I destroy all of you!" said a mysterious voice. Everyone looked up…and saw a Boohbah! But this one wasn't one of the ones the Telebubbies had already defeated. This one was much larger, fatter, and was colored white. He also wore a golden crown with different jewels on it. He slowly lowered himself to the floor. "Grr!! My lackeys have failed me! But this is alright. You know what they say! 'If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself'! In this case, the matter would be destroying my long time adversaries, the Teletubbies!"

"That's Telebubbies." said Spongebob.

"Whatever! I warn you however, to attack me is futile. Your king came 'round here a while ago, but he won't be leaving anytime soon!"

"The Golden Tubbie! Where is he?"

"He's hidden in these very walls. But why do you care?"

"Why do we care?!? He's our leader and friend, gosh-darn it!"

"Well, take my word. Abandon your silly king and give up! Submit to my rule!"

"Never, marshmallow man!"

"THAT'S BOOHBAH! And my name is King Boozbah! Now then, prepare to be vanquished!"

King Boozbah started floating upwards, and dived headfirst at the group. The members from TMNT: FF and Viva Piñata were hit, while everyone else dodged. "Guh!" shouted Raphael.

Dipsy back flipped to dodge, and while in the air, smashed himself into Boozbah while firing an antennae bolt. Both attacks hit him, but he absorbed the bolt! "Ha! Those measly electric shock balls do me no harm!"

"Darn it! That's our most useful and easiest to fire attack!"

"Then you are fools for thinking that you can defeat me!"

"Oh well. Guys, it looks like we're gonna have to do this old school-style!" decided Dipsy.

Spongebob flew into the air, wrapped himself on Boozbah, and brought him to the floor, while everyone else ganged up on him and mercilessly attacked Boozbah with punches and kicks. After a while, Boozbah lifted himself, and shook off everyone on him. He then threw his crown at Criss, who forced it back at Boozbah. But he only grabbed it, and landed it back on his head. "Not bad."

"Not bad? Then you could use some help!" said someone.

Everyone looked up, and saw all the Boohbahs, along with the Telecronies and the Storypeople, now bringing Auntie and Riff with them! "Wonderful! Now, Mr. Man…Mrs. Lady…beat them!" commanded Boozbah.

"'Beat them'? You couldn't have gone the extra mile and say something like, 'Kill them', or 'Annihilate them', or even 'Exterminate' or 'Obliterate them'?" recommended Tinky.

"I'm part of a children's program. It's against my nature," answered Boozbah.

"Yeah, tell that to the Willy Wonka guy."

"Fine. Anyway, do as you're told, servants!"

Mr. Man and Mrs. Lady started at our heroes. The minions took a lead by performing a dual spinning piledriver. It got in a couple hits onto the Telebubbies, Spongebob, and the piñatas, who were batted into pieces. "This is humiliating! All my life I avoid parties to stay candy-filled, and now I am being beaten by a mutant piece of candy! I never thought candy had a dark side, for piñatas, anyway," complained Fergy.

"Let's just hope that the others don't end up like us, because unlike us, they won't stay alive if they're wrecked into pieces!" explained Langston.

"Gee, thanks for that comforting thought," muttered Dipsy sarcastically.

"Whoops, sorry."

In the middle of all this action, the turtles recovered. Mr. Man attempted to headbutt Michelangelo and Spongebob, but they both jumped onto his back, and slapped his butt. "Hyah! Giddyup, Rising Sun!" they taunted together.

They choked him enough for him to stay alive, but enough to keep him under control, so they rode him into Mrs. Lady, who was trying to scratch out Raphael and Tinky. They collided into each other, and they all went flying into the air. Mrs. Lady crashed onto the floor, but Raphael and Tinky hitchhiked a ride on Mr. Man. "Looks like you owe me one, Raph!" smiled Mikey.

"Don't push your luck, bro."

To top it off, Riff came into contact with Barney, B.J., and Baby Bop. "Did you really think I was your friend, Barney? Ha! Fool you are, just like your personality," insulted Riff.

"What?!? You think I'm a fool?!? We'll see who's the fool now!" erupted Barney.

Barney flipped in the air, landed on Riff, and punched her for a very long time, until Riff was knocked out. "…That was easy," muttered Baby Bop.

As King Boozbah watched the dog pile closely, he realized that these "cute, defenseless Teletubbies" were a force to be reckoned with! However, just when things seemed like things couldn't get any wilder, on the east wall came a bright, yellow wave of light through the wall. Soon after came out another wave of light, then another, and another until it would blind you if you looked directly at it, and in several seconds, the purple, glittery stone wall was blasted into medium-to-large, jagged stones. A white light came from the shadowy gap, and out came the Golden Tubbie…in the form of a regular Telebubbie!!! He resembled Lala in color, and Tinky in figure, a radiant light surrounded his body, and the regular Telebubbie antennae was replaced by a rickety ember. "Hello, bubs," greeted the Golden Tubbie. (The Golden Tubbie's voice resembles that of Avatar Roku's from _Avatar: the Last Airbender_.)

"The Golden Tubbie? Is that you?" asked Dipsy.

"Please, call me Goldie."

Goldie smiled, and the Boohbahs panicked. "Boozbah! We were outnumbered to begin with, and now we've got another rival who is super-powerful! How in the heck are we gonna triumph in this handicap match where our opponents have the edge?" rushed Jumbah.

"Not to worry, underling. I have a foolproof plot. Jumbah! Round up your siblings and activate the rainbow portal!" directed Boozbah.

Jumbah saluted his king, and harvested his siblings. They flew into the air, while our heroes looked up in awe. The Boohbahs looped around each other and without warning, grabbed arms, formed a skydiver-like circle, and each emitted a different note from their head. The colored note beams merged together, launched into the sandy floor, and activated the rainbow portal. "That is all, underlings, but I say to you all, do not enter the portal!" shouted Boozbah.

King Boozbah flipped into the portal. The Telebubbies were aware of this and chased Boozbah down into the portal. "Oh, you're not getting away that easily!" warned Dipsy, and with that, Tinkonius Winkolemue, Dipsangule, Larentila, Potelier, and the Golden Tubbie followed into the portal. Spongebob and the others chased after the Telebubbies. "Wait! You forgot us!" bellowed Spongebob.

But as the rest of them jumped to dive into the portal, the portal deactivated, and they hurt as they smashed face first into the dust. "NO! I'm sorry, guys."

As Spongebob drooped his head in guilt, Franklin Fizzlybear and Langston Lickatoad had amazingly fixed themselves, and helped reform Paulie and Fergy. "It's all right, sponge dude. We have to take care of business up here getting rid of these pests that so-called king calls underlings!" reminded Franklin.

* * *

The Telebubbies including Goldie dropped into a room that looked like it was snow covered or made of ice, the walls were turquoise with white, sparkly circles, and the landscape of the floor was another spiral ditch, the center, this time being about ten yards in circumference. The Telebubbies looked up to see Boozbah slowly come about eight inches off the floor. As he stood in midair, he laughed calmly, with a hint of evil. The Telebubbies readied themselves for anything. Their eyes were smug, constantly moving. After about several minutes of ominous atmosphere, King Boozbah dive-bombed the five-man squad. (including one woman) They ducked, and Goldie back flipped onto Boozbah's back. As he surfed on the white Boohbah's back, he jumped two inches in front of his path, and ground pounded him down onto the icy spiral. 

As Boozbah collapsed onto the ground and rolled to the base floor, the other Telebubbies body slammed the giant Boohbah. They then started punching him like there was no tomorrow! Just as sudden as a shrill whistle, Boozbah levitated several inches off the ground and shook them all off his body, dropping them onto the floor. "Higuh…not bad. However, you're still pretty mediocre. Tell me, opponents, can you fend against this?"

Boozbah spun like a top and created several mini cyclones. The cyclones twisted madly towards the small group. Goldie looked at one of the cyclones, made a strange sound, and the cyclone stopped in its tracks! Literally, you could see the current of air and shape as if it was still spinning, but the image stood in only one image and position! Suddenly, the cyclone started spinning twice as fast as it had before, but it went in reverse, and it directly, no holds barred, hit King Boozbah. He went flying, this time with no control. He dizzily made loops in the air, and crashed into the wall. He was ricocheted back to earth, and the Telebubbies, forgetting Boozbah was resistant to them, shot an antennae bolt. The bolt only made his body be traced with electricity, doing no damage whatsoever. However, Po and Dipsy had charged their bolts, and though it did not hurt Boozbah, it stunned him momentarily. This gave all five of them a fighting chance. They again ganged up on him, and beat the heck out of him. But only moments after the mob rumble began, did Boozbah lift himself up again. Thus, the weapon-filled melee began again.

This time, Boozbah sent a sneak assault with a flame launch that jumped behind the group and flew to the dead center of the room, unnoticed. However, Po did notice it, and antennae bolted it. Crazily enough, now of all times, did the Telebubbies realize that they had another primary attack source. Not only did the flame poof out of existence, but the flame went inside Po's antennae. Po attempted to stun Boozbah with a charged up antennae bolt, but instead of an antennae bolt coming out, a fireball came from Po's antennae! The fireball hit Boozbah, which did a good amount of damage to him, roughening him up a bit. Dipsy took advantage of the sudden confusion, and hit Boozbah with an antennae whirl. The fire hit Dipsy's antennae, so now he had the fireball ability as well as Po. Dipsy and Po threw a hefty amount of fireballs at Boozbah, Lala used her boomerang to keep Boozbah from getting back to his feet, Tinky used supercharged antennae bolts to keep stunning him, and Goldie went about using Mindfreak-like powers to keep Boozbah at bay. Being torn down from the different sources of attack power, Boozbah collapsed again, and the five dog piled him again.

Boozbah had nearly given up, when he got a delicious idea. He shot another flame from his finger, but this time at the wall. The flame began to burn the wall, and before long, it had reached the floor! "Um, Goldie? I hate to complain, but we are about to be thrown into an endless abyss, and Boozbah is about to win! What now?" asked Po nervously.

"I'm thinking…and I'm liking! Okay, remember when you were fighting the Grim Reaper clones?"

"How did you know about that?"

"Long story. Anyway, you guys teamed up to create an enormous antennae bolt! If a charged up antennae bolt can stun him, and with my kind of power, think about what kind of damage that would inflict! The S.C.M.Q.W.S.S., the Super Charged Mindfreak Quintuple Whammy Spiral Shot, is our final option, and it looks like it is right now!"

It was double or nothing, so of course, they went for the 'double'. They formed a circle at the center of the floor, joined hands, and focused all their power in an antennae bolt. They kept their aim on Boozbah so that they could not miss. After about thirty seconds of charging, in the center of the circle, an electric form of matter appeared. Slowly, these blue lines merged together to create a ball. Goldie focused an extra energy into the ball, and the edges of the ball became enticed with a ring of fire, and the color of the ball turned slightly red. Gradually, the ball became larger than any antennae bolt yet, enormous in its size, and it ever so slowly floated into the air. Suddenly, the ball wiggled a bit, a multi-colored core visible at the center of the bolt, and it, as fast as lightning, hit King Boozbah! King Boozbah roared with pain, slowly began to spin, and turned into a mess of white stars!

"That's it. I can't believe it. We finally did it!" said Dipsy triumphantly.

The rainbow portal appeared at the ceiling, the Golden Tubbie threw all the other Telebubbies to the top, and then the Golden Tubbie retained his original form, the sun baby, and floated up the portal.

* * *

All the Boohbah helpers and other underlings were on the floor, moaning with agony. Raphael approached the Telebubbies. "Hey, bubs. Glad to see you're okay. And those guys? No sweat. We all joined and defeated them all. Seriously, it was a piece of cake. So how'd it go with the big boss?" 

"We did it. We beat him."

"Awesome. So does this mean we're through?"

Dipsy smiled, and answered, "Yeah. We're through."


	15. The Wrap Up

Teletubbies: Ultimate Censorers

Chapter 15: The Wrap-Up

As the Telebubbies overlooked the horizon, Criss came to their attention. "Hey guys. So, I just came to tell you that I'm gonna go back to Vegas."

"All right. See ya."

As Criss opened a portal with his hand, he turned around again. "Oh, and another thing. Now that you've defeated the Boohbahs, someone needs to take their place as manager of Storyworld, in other words, king. So, I figure that would be…"

Tinky popped up, "Me?"

"Umm…no. Dipsy."

Dipsy perked back. "Me? Shouldn't the Golden Tubbie…"

"I talked to him. He says that you're ready."

"Really?"

"Really."

Dipsy was more surprised than he ever would be. "Wow. I'm speechless!"

So it turned out being that Dipsy became king of both Storyworld and Telebubbie Land! He was assisted by his siblings, his original leader, Spongebob, and a mysterious young man who insisted on being referred to as Writer's Blah. Days passed. One day, all of his acquaintances and allies came to visit him in the new Telebubbie Citadel. Dipsy was in the new laboratory with Tinky, his, as mentioned near the beginning of the story, dim-witted assistant. "Hey there, Dipsy, Tinky," greeted Cody.

"Oh hey, everyone. Check this out! All I do is pour a drop of this red liquid into this orange fluid, and…" The container exploded. "…I've invented my new trademark 'Kaboom Juice'! When you drink it, you feel an imploding feeling in your stomach, yet it is unharmed when you look at it. Observe." Tinky took a sip, and jolted into the air. He then burped, and smoke went out of his mouth.

"Ouch."

"Plus, it doesn't harm your lungs or heart or brain like a cigarette!"

"Cool! So the reason we came here was to tell you that there's a strange portal in Piñata Island, and it's…"

At that moment, Lala, Po, Spongebob, and Writer's Blah entered. "Hey Dipsy. What's going on?" asked Spongebob.

"There's a new portal at Piñata Island."

Writer's Blah stepped in front and said, "Yeah I know. It leads to the alternate universe Franklin once went to. Colonel Cuddles and Spanklin are arguing on the state of their world, being so close to the string universe, or the Piñata Island that Franklin, Fergy, and the piñatas live on."

"Wait a minute, how did you…"

"…know? Yeah, I wrote that."

"What do you mean?"

"This is all a story. That's right. None of this ever actually happened."

"WHAT?!? So, this a story…"

"…on a website known as It is a site on the internet where people write stories based on things that already exist, so unless the person has enough money to borrow the rights to the thing they based their story on, it can't be published as a book. That applies for all the stories on the site, including this one."

"So…what now?" asked Criss.

Langston popped his head up. "What now? I'll tell you what now! Now, Paulie and Fergy are going to a party!"

"Cripes! We're out of here!" Paulie and Fergy said together, and left the citadel running, followed by the chaser, Langston.

Dipsy looked at Franklin, who was still there. "Do ya think Langston will ever catch them?"

"Na. Langston is a persistent dude, but he'll never catch the rebels."

"Strike that, Frankie. Langston will catch them one day, and that day is soon," corrected Writer's Blah. "And now, what will really happen now, to answer Dipsy's question, is that this story is going to be followed by a character parade."

"Um, okay, sure. Let's have it shown now," guessed Dipsy.

"You mean written. This is a story, remember?"

"Oh, that's right. Then let's read it now!" said Dipsy.

"Got it. The parade starts now!"

* * *

_You have been reading __Teletubbies: Ultimate Censorers__, an original story by Writer's Blah, featuring the following characters_: 

_TINKONIUS WINKOLEMUE- "I'm the star of this story!"_

_DIPSANGULE- "So am I!"_

_LARENTILA- "Actually, we all are!"_

_POTELIER- "But it leans more towards Dipsy."_

_SPONGEBOB- "That's pretty hard to comprehend."_

_BARNEY- "I love you, you love me…"_

_B.J.- "This is not your show, it's a stoooory."_

_BABY BOP- "The show is still on the air it's not a shame, this story will be made into a video game."_

_ROSEANNE- "Those silly pop rocks broke my awesome badness."_

_D.J.- "Mommy, help. I'm still good!"_

_JACKIE- "Yeah, but there's no cure. We'll be stuck like this FOREVER!" _

_DAN- "Thanks for putting me on this list for only being mentioned in this story."_

_DARLENE- "My dog can too race! And it can totally beat your dog's (beep) in any sport!"_

_CONSTABLE BIGGLES- "Those turtles will put me out of a job."_

_LEONARDO- "Sorry, Biggles. Just have to keep doing our thing."_

_MICHELANGELO- "And now, I've got to go to destroy the cast of the game __Halo__!" _

_DONATELLO- "Help. I'm still in Storyworld and I don 't know how to get out."_

_RAPHAEL- "Looks like I'm gonna have to beat the answers out of someone."_

_SPLINTER- "I need to get out of here! I'm missing my soaps!"_

_CODY- "Which is more than I can say for me."_

_DARIUS- "I've been watching too much __Wizard of Oz."_

_ZIXX- "You mean that film which is more than 150 years old?_

_TRIPLE THREAT- "Yeah, that's the one."_

_DARK TURTLES- "How would they know?_

_THE COLLECTOR- "They are freakier than me, that's why."_

_SH'OKONABO- "Why are we all arguing?"_

_VIRAL- "Because of that (beep) movie."_

_ZUKO- "(grunts)"_

_STERLING- "That means that he thinks that this entire cast list is stupid!"_

_PATRICK- "Uhh…"_

_KIDS FROM BARNEY- "GET US OUT OF HERE!!!!!!"_

_SQUIDWARD- "Whatever."_

_MR. KRABS- "You should visit therapy Mr. Squidward."_

_PLANKTON- "Finally, we agree on something."_

_SANDY CHEEKS- "With Spongebob's low salary, it will be a miracle if he proposes with a nice ring!" _

_RIFF- "Why am I a villain?"_

_THE BOSS- "SILENCE!!!"_

_FRANKLIN- "No one is gonna be, like, quiet until this list is, like over."_

_PAULIE- "Fergy! Langston is catching up to us!"_

_FERGY- "Don't worry, Paulie. He'll never catch us!"_

_LANGSTON- "That's not what Mr. Blah told me!"_

_PROFESSOR PESTOR- "I have no regrets!"_

_THE RUFFIANS- "(blabber incoherent gibberish)" _

_COLONEL CUDDLES- "Spanklin, how can you say that there's nothing wrong with our universe if we're collapsing with our originating universe?" _

_SPANKLIN- "Well, that's because Spanklin is filled up with candy again! Spanklin is sweeter than ever! How can anything possibly be wrong?" _

_MONTY MOUSEMALLOW- "Put up your dukes! I would give you a good whuppin' for taking me out of this lousy story!"_

_LESTER- "(chatters in Galagoogoo)" (translation: I wasn't even in this story! Okay, it seemed like it had to be forced! I'm in every episode!) _

_RANDOM GUY- "I don't even have a name!"_

_CRISS ANGEL- "It's a Mindfreak that I showed up for this."_

_THE GRIM REAPER- "This really isn't good for my image."_

_CHEF- "Come get your disgustingly pungent burger right here! Would you like beer to go with that? I can't decide which comment to use!"_

_ERIC- "Then use both! I'm too lazy to use one anyway, so you can cover for me!"_

_KENNY- "That was some battle."_

_KYLE- "How are you alive again?"_

_STANLEY- "He won't be for long… (takes out a gun)_

_JUMBAH- "I can't believe we lost to the Teletubbies!"_

_ZING ZING ZINGBAH- "It's all your fault!"_

_JINGBAH- "No, it's all our fault."_

_HUMBAH- "Nice going, ya little kiss-up."_

_ZUMBAH- "Whatever."_

_MR. MAN- "Hey! Squidward already used that comment!"_

_MRS. LADY- "Ahh, why do you care?"_

_BROTHER- "I'm too old for this show!"_

_SISTER- "Then why did YOU sign us up?"_

_GRANDMAMMA- "Because he's a softy for cute, fuzzy creatures."_

_GRANDPAPPA- "And because of all the cute women that come to the set."_

_LITTLE DOG FIDO- "Woof! Woof! Arf! Arf! Bark, bar…oh, forget it. There's no use in covering up my English tongue."_

_AUNTIE- "Why is there no Uncie?"_

_And making their initial debut in this story, we are proud to present… _

_KHIM- "It's spelled without the 'h'. And I'm from Korea, not Japan!"_

_PHIL- "Phil, Piiil of the future…"_

_SHEILA- "I didn't even have a line in this story!" _

_THE GOLDEN TUBBIE- "I'm setting in the sky, say goodbye!"_

_TRICKY WHIPPY- "Why is this my name if I don't even own a whip?"_

_DIPSTICK- "Because you used to!"_

_BLAH BLAH- "Yeah, before my clone originator stole it from you!"_

_FO- "I pity the cast list!"_

_KING BOOZBAH- (Unavailable for Comment) _

_WRITER'S BLAH- "This is the end of the cast list. Now comes the foreword, and then comes the end of the story, finally!" _

* * *

Hey, reader! You've just reached the end of this story! Now look out for my next title, a short spin-off of this story. You will find it under this same section as "Duh and Duher". It is coming soon, and be sure to look out for my other titles, I have a bunch already planned! To make it easier for you to find my new titles, be sure to add me to either your "Author Alert" or "Favorite Authors" list be pressing the pretty purple button below. By the way, if _just64helpin_ ever reads this, please do not take it that I stole your idea from the character parade.It is credited with all due respect. Until next time, reader!

* * *

**THE END**


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